#like the soundtrack is half of what makes the ride so good and you’re just gonna. remove that.

[bumpscosity]

No bc why overlay space mountain which has like the best soundtrack of any roller coaster ever

[strawbrrydior]

TBP HEADCANONS

• Vance likes to be nurtured and prefers quiet, gentle things. If you approach him nicely and you talk to him nicely then he won’t be mean to you he just has a trigger for aggression.

• Bruce is multitalented. One of those guys who can do anything he really tries to and has done a lot. He’s done theatre, baseball, he’s really good at braiding hair and is excellent at writing informative essays but his main things are studying unsolved cases and filling notebooks with information on thinks he’s into.

• robin boxes every other day after school, he goes to this gym that’s sort of old and kind of empty so it’s usually just him in there. He brings a little radio and hustles a punching bag for hours. Sometimes Vance comes and works out with him, usually they don’t talk rather just enjoy each others company (and music taste. I think they like similar stuff.)

• Vance and Gwen and Amy are actually really good friends for some reasons 9/10 of the times the boys can’t find Vance it’s because he’s at one of their houses letting the girls braid his hair. He protects them but truly he’s scared of them they’re vicious rabid creatures

•Gwen, aside from her dreams and shit, just has really good intuition and can read people like books. Which is why she and Vance are such good friends because she reads him so well she somehow manages to know exactly whats wrong at all times, besides, she went through a stress toy phase and now has a drawer full of them she doesn’t use and Vance has taken all of them. Win win.

• griffin doesn’t know how to ride a bike. He swore up and down that he did and billy got annoyed and called his bluff, hopped off his bike and pat the seat. He couldn’t even get on it he was down on the sidewalk in half a second.

•billy is an advent fan of the outsiders and his favorite character is Darry. He likes to associate characters to his friends and it’s an inside joke between them who’s who. (Finney is pony boy, robin is Johnny. Vance is dally, Bruce is soda pop (but also billy argued he was cherry. He wanted to be soda pop) griffin is two bit, and billy is Darry. (And they wonder why that’s his favorite.) Gwen thinks she should be soda pop and Bruce should be cherry and not reverse but whatever! )

• finney and Gwen’s movie is grease. It’s their favorite, they have The soundtrack on tape and know the dances. They sing duets, finneys danny and Gwen is sandy. Gwen’s favorite song is hopelessly devoted and finneys is you’re the one that I want

•robin listens to a lot of rock and a bit of metal (mostly because of Vance who just needs someone to talk to about albums he likes so he tells Robin cuz Robin always actually listens to them.) he rly likes run dmc and the beastie boys. Any fast paced or loud music is his shit. Finney doesn’t like loud noises and he doesn’t enjoy listening to that kind of music it makes him antsy so their common ground is soft 50s / 60s music. (I.e those magic changes - Sha na na & anything Ritchie valens) but most of the time robin plays whatever he wants on his stereo and just keeps it super low.

•robin and Vance have daily smoke seshs in the bathroom (one robin fought to own literally. Like he put a group of seniors on their asses freshmen year and now it’s his bathroom no one goes in there)

•Billy’s really into old movies and is constantly in the library trying to read up on old 1920s actresses

•billy likes classical music. He buys cheap tapes and lets them play softly in the background

•robins bed is in the corner of his room against a wall so whenever finney sleeps over he sleeps on the side pressed against the wall because sometimes he gets nightmares and makes monsters out of the shadows in the room but from the corner he can’t see them.

•Vance hopper is a writer he’s awful at SAYINg how he feels so he writes to people. He writes poems and stories and stuff and he’s a real good story teller he just can’t figure out how to get the words out of his mouth

•griffin has undiagnosed adhd and spent all of his life getting yelled at by his mother over it. He’s self conscious about himself and tries to do things quietly in dark corners but the boys are never annoyed with him when he talks or runs around or stims and it helps him come to terms with himself

• griffins dad and Vance’s mom are dating and have been since they were younger. They live together and even though Vance still has to go see his dad on a court order and stuff griffin always waits at the doorstep for him or drives with his mom to drop and pick him up

•Bruce is the oldest in the group and takes on a motherly type role. He’s always there to help them, constantly feeds them and buys them stuff and talks to them like he’s sooo much older then them and how he’s sooo tired from raising kids and working but deep down it makes him happy to provide and make other people happy. He needs to be taken care of too and there’s always someone there for him (usually Vance because he’s a little more mature then the others and notices when Bruce is down before they do. Not their faults though, sometimes they just don’t peep it for a while.)

•robins mom loves finney, she jokes about loving him more then robin All the time. Sometimes they’ll lay at the foot of her bed while she’s watching tv and just whisper to eachother. She enjoys their company and really likes it when they stay home she much prefers they just stay right by her side for safety

•robin has a dog named paco , he’s a 3 year old brown pit bull. Very rowdy and clumsy just like robin :)

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

dedication | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: A conversation about happy endings, dedication, and fear.

notes: language; talking about life; Yoongi’s POV; I wrote this months ago, found it recently, and thought it aligned with his new album (or what he has revealed so far) and for some reason I felt that this conversation was too significant on its own to be dressed in a story, so here it is

--

“Happy endings don’t exist.”

“Why not?”

She smiled. “You can’t have forever if there’s an ending.”

He looked back, reflecting her smile. “Are you my forever?”

She shrugged half-heartedly. “Until I’m not.”

His smile turned into a smirk.

“Good thing I’m committed to falling in love all the time.”

He used to wonder what the most important thing in the world was. No, he thought he knew, riding on the dreams of others and driven towards his own, until he reached the highest high and looked around to see nothing and no one beside him, not because there weren’t others that walked with him, but because he only showed them the best of Min Yoongi.

There was no one to show the other sides of Min Yoongi.

“Do you ever think you’ll hate me?” he asked, curious.

“Not really,” she replied, one earcup of her headphones on and the other off to listen his questions.

“Why not?”

“Why should I?” He could tell she was listening to music because her head was bobbing lightly to it. A soundtrack to their conversation or completely unrelated. He didn’t know. “I like you until you give me a reason to not like you, which is all on you, by the way.” She shrugged again. “But I probably wouldn’t hate you. Seems like a waste of time for someone not worth your time.”

He chuckled. “Ho. You’re tough.”

She poked him in the chest. “That’s why I like big softies like you.”

He laughed and he was quite sure he was not any kind of big softie, but it would be reckless to fight that determined expression, so he didn’t. He just sat down and waited for her to put her phone down and lower the headphones, giving him a confused look.

“Is something wrong?”

He turned his head to look at her. He wondered why he thought he could do anything when he looked into that face. Why he thought no dream was too far, nothing too impossible, nothing unachievable, and while she would most certainly give him the logistics to bring him back to the ground…

Still.

“I am grateful to be loved by you,” he said.

He used to think he knew what the most important thing in the world was.

“I should be saying that about you, Yoongi,” she replied with a smile, a piano melody leaking from the headphones by her chin.

But the truth was that there were many important things in this world. It all depended on who you were and where you were in life. On whims and stubbornness and being able to let go, because nothing mattered unless you made it matter. Young him used to think that it was most important to prove that he was something and someone. Older him sometimes thought about what it was like to be nothing and nobody. Would he be a more complete, more well-rounded person if he never had the world at his fingertips? Would he have a better message, a better sound? Sometimes he looked into the sea of faces and it felt like home. Sometimes he looked into the sea of faces and he wondered how fucked up he really was. There must be things he didn’t understand because he was in his position, and there must be unconscious bad habits he had now picked up because of who he had become.

“I’m not that great,” he hummed.

“Isn’t that weird?”

“Is what weird?”

She leaned back against the couch and tilted her head. “I know you believe everyone has good and bad. You know that everyone has their own backstories and situations, making the good and bad parts of them relative and subjective.” Her shoulders lifted, accompanying a pensive frown. “Why would you think that you must be great to be loved by me?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Isn’t that what you want? A great partner?”

She looked away from him, to his desk and computer and equipment.

“A great partner knows their flaws and acknowledges them. He knows his limits. Instead of closing his mind to the world, he opens it to better understand himself and then others.” She laughed slightly, shaking her head. “You’re a workaholic with a sharp tongue. You’ve already dreamed up every way you would break a rule you don’t like. You just don’t. But you could.”

“Don’t tell my boss.”

She smiled and mimed zipping her lips shut.

There was a moment of silence until she broke it again.

“I have never met someone so dedicated to something as you are to music.”

“It’s not always the best thing,” he replied with a sigh. “When nothing comes, you feel like a failure.”

“Only those who fail become masters.”

“Yeah, well, failing sucks ass.”

She snickered. “Fair enough.” Looked into his eyes, and he really believed he could do anything. “I just mean that is why I’m grateful to be loved by you. Someone who knows dedication was not just a one-time promise, but something you struggle with forever. Maybe aimlessly, maybe foolishly, maybe getting stuck at an impasse but always choosing the same route, even though you don’t know where it will lead you.”

“Huh.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Makes me sound like an idiot.”

“Yoongi, you have to be an idiot to fall in love.”

“I don’t think so.”

She gave him this look.

“I learned dedication from you,” he said to those eyes, the eyes that made him believe he could be himself, all sides of himself, without fear. The eyes that made him believe he could admit his flaws. That he really could do anything. “I used to think, this is it. The run will be over soon. But then it kept going, and I wondered… did I really want to run anymore? What if my reasons changed? Would that make all this less meaningful if I don’t know the meaning anymore? If I don’t know where I’m running? If I don’t know the end?”

She didn’t say anything.

She simply listened.

“But you taught me there’s no such thing as an ending. And I used to think, that’s fucking daunting, thinking about forever and what that meant, but then there’s you and for some reason I think you can do anything if you wanted to.”

He stared at her.

“You just don’t want to.”

She smiled, and the whole world lit up.

“Well, I probably shouldn’t cause a ruckus for the betterment of society.”

“Society probably needs a ruckus to move in any direction at all,” he grumbled, half-smiling.

“I often think,” she continued, and he noted she was getting back to his original topic with her tone and thoughtful expression. “That fear and determination can co-exist and should not be mutually exclusive. You can take precautions while being reckless.”

“Uh huh. You know most people don’t think that, right? People avoid feeling afraid and being reckless.”

She frowned. It was very cute. “Hah. Why?”

“Nobody likes negative consequences.”

“They’re only negative if you look at them that way.”

“That’s what criminals say to the cops when they’re caught.”

She held out her hands in a carefree shrug.

“Don’t get caught. Stay a criminal undercover.”

He twitched.

She grinned. Playful and fully knowing what she did there. “Mistakes, failure, negative consequences, they all teach you in some way or another. Life is about learning. There’s no story without a journey and no journey if you’re paralyzed in the past and the what-ifs of the future.”

Like he thought, there was a reason he felt like he could do anything when he looked into her eyes.

Like living a movie.

Like he was the main character.

Like life was in color, in shadows and in light, diving between darkness and brightness, knowing it would come and go, and also knowing he could simultaneously be afraid and fearless at the same time. He thought he had to cast aside parts of him to be the best of Min Yoongi. He used to be glad and dismayed that he was no longer who he was in the past. Now, he recognized that he was learning lessons from his past self, new ones and old reminders, and he was grateful to be loved by one who knew dedication.

“If I’m dedicated to music,” Yoongi found himself asking. “What are you dedicated to?”

She shrugged.

Thought about it.

Deeply.

“Dick?” was the final answer.

Admirable, he concluded.

--

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

[everygame]

Hi-Fi Rush

Developed/Published by: Tango Gameworks / Bethesda Released: 25/01/2023 Completed: 09/12/2023 Completion: Finished it!

I loved this.

I’m not quite sure why, but saying so feels very exposing. Maybe it’s because before playing Hi-Fi Rush I had no idea what it actually was, and the game’s bright anime-adjacent stylings somewhat had me discounting it out of hand, so I assume the extremely cool people who read this would be doing the same.

Maybe it’s also just that Hi-Fi Rush is… pretty straightforward? It’s not particularly trying to move the medium forward (although I think it does some clever stuff) it’s just trying to be very, very good at what it’s doing. And what it’s doing, actually, isn’t so much “anime” as “full on Sega blue skies” while being an incredible competent 3D action platformer/brawler with a likable (dare I say loveable) cast of heroic misfits telling a simple but effectively structured narrative with some very savvy music choices.

The thing is that… succeeding at something that hits that many beats isn’t actually… easy? Something I’m most struck by is actually those characters. By now we’ve all seen the nadir of Marvel-inspired quip-a-thons thanks to the likes of that Forsaken trailer, but even looking at something like, say, Guardians of the Galaxy, where they have something that (at least previously) had worked, it’s remarkable how flat it falls. Here, you have a goofy, act-first-think-later hero, Chai, the cleverer-than-him female leader, Peppermint, the funny robot, CNMN, etc. in a very simple “baddies are doing bad things, let’s get the different things we need to defeat them” story, but it completely pops because there’s been care to keep the story rolling naturally so you flow through it and grow into caring about them. I’m so insanely curmugeonly that I can’t believed to ride that line for me. But they did!

Now you could say, “ah, but the secret weapon here is that the game uses actual songs that you actually like! That always works!” But it doesn’t work if all the pieces don’t fit together. There’s no better example than one of the game’s latter levels that uses The Prodigy’s Invaders Must Die. It plays at a moment where narratively all hell is breaking loose. It feels like you’re in a climax of an action movie, not just because the music is playing, but because the story has taken you there. That the level design is clever enough to cool down, let the music pull back a little, and then kick it back in for a climax? Absolute chef kiss.

(It only really gets better from there, too. Ending strong is rarely something I think video games aspire to, but Hi Fi Rush is sensibly around the 10 hour mark and the last three levels or so rip. Did the appearance of The Joy Formidable on the soundtrack literally make me emotional? Yes. Yes it did.)

Now interestingly, I haven’t actually played any other Tango Gameworks titles so I don’t really know if I should have expected rock-solid play, but either way I was surprised by how well it does. What makes Hi Fi Rush genius, I think, is that it takes a type of game I am incapable of not button-mashing through and adds a rhythm action component that doesn’t expect but rather, uh… politely asks you to hit your combos on rhythm. And it works!

I can criticise it, somewhat, however They quickly add quite a lot of subtleties to the combat and don’t tutoralise them heavily enough–I didn’t understand how to use Chai’s “partner combos” until well over half-way through the game, and I don’t know if I ever got comfortable with parries because standing around waiting for enemies to attack seemed the antithesis of everything else I was doing. There end up being a lot of buttons and you have to internalise the order of your partners and switching between them rapidly in situations where there are like 3 different kinds of enemies at once meaning at times combat is just a total stramash. But even then, there’s always the beat to follow. It’s very clever.

Anyway. I loved this. It’s one of my favourite things I’ve played in years. Your mileage may vary!

Will I ever play it again? When it finished I wanted to play it more. That literally never happens. I sort of hope there’s a sequel, but the story of this is so pleasantly complete that I’m not sure if there should be one.

Final Thought: I may also be a bit of a sucker for this game because you’re always accompanied by a black cat. Inspired by the game director’s!

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up a digital copy of exp. 2600, a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[leweekendrock]

A Le Weekend Retrospective - Part 2

Like the night sky, the band Le Weekend has been around more than 15 years. While the night sky lazed around and contributed nothing to anyone, the band used the time to write songs, play shows, and put out recordings at what couldn’t be called a breakneck pace.

Responding to a fantasy where there was popular demand to hear our story, please enjoy–or failing that, read–a retrospective in some number of parts.

This is the second part. It covers 2009 and most of 2010, in which we continued on as a trio and released our first LP at full price for half the material. If you missed (or suddenly miss) the first part, it’s here.

SOUNDTRACK: https://leweekend.bandcamp.com/album/dblscrt

DISCLAIMERS: 

The writing is mostly Matt. Bob’s unprecedented, all-platform social media ban has still not expired.

This isn’t supposed to be (slash hopefully isn’t) a nostalgia trip. Those are for things that are over. We’re just demonstrating some ongoing history behind this thing we do and keep doing for some reason.

I’ve tried to avoid the social media pose of pretending to be an Important Band. It’s hard to avoid entirely when writing anything (suggesting something is worth your time is already bold). But we’re merely a Good Local Band in the sense of all three words, and mean well.

Finally, if you’re looking for Salacious Details(!!), you’ve come to the wrong band. Here are the three most shocking excerpts from the whole thing:

The short-lived sales bump was chalked up to market confusion: there was a similarly named album by some howler monkeys that went on NPR.

The public story about what the initials stand for is well known, but during a quiet moment on the set he revealed it was "Looky Loo.”

Slowly returning to my senses, I dropped the baseball bat and stared blankly at the no longer moving body. Had anyone seen me and Santa Claus come in here?!

And they’re are all from Joan Cusack’s autobiography.

We found ourselves in the early months of what the kids used to call “a 2009.” As I told you last time, we had gone down from a quintet to trio upon the official release of our first recording in December 2008. It was sad to say goodbye to two of our founding members (Ben Ridings and Missy Thangs), but exciting to consider where we could go next with this relatively new project.

I couldn’t find a photo of us all together during this period, so here are two from the same parking lot.

(l-r: Robert Biggers, Bob Wall)

(l-r: Matt Kalb)

We had a definite ease of playing together--great communication--so it wasn’t as hard to rearrange some of our existing songs or to come up with a number of new ones as I’d feared. Revisiting our existing material got me thinking about the arbitrariness of seemingly “final” choices. (Plus I’ve always loved Slacker, so Should Have Stayed At Bus Station laying out the idea of multiple realities spawned by choices made and not made was probably in there, though not consciously). I saw potential to go different directions that were more or less equally great and equally fitting. Thus, less than two months into our existence as a trio, I fired off a too long, kind of bizarre email, which was a style at the time. It even had the subject line “DOUBLE SECRET.”

From The Mixed Up Sent Items of Matt Kalb, Jan 31, 2009.

When we work on songs…I've always been struck that things can work well in a lot of different ways. Since our songs are hard to learn, we don't end up getting to play with this much. What I'd like to do is record an album this year where we double the songs – record two different versions of each. What I DON'T want to do with this idea is make it about 'opposites' per se (where we have rules to follow, like if every song was done full band plus augmentations and then done again 'stripped down' in some way). I don't want it to be a formula where when you hear one of the versions you can predict what the other version will be. I just want to use different approaches such as…

[blah blah about the different approaches]

...The end result would be one CD with two distinct I'm-going-to-call-them phases where a version of all the songs appears in an order that works well, and then the songs are presented again being different versions and importantly not in the same sequence, etc. The phases themselves also reflect the idea—e.g. it won't be straight in one phase and weird in the next, or stripped down then lush, that sort of thing—those differences should happen internally in each. 

[snipping out a thing I don’t want to spoil about “Better Practice” and “The Story of Le Weekend Suite.” We’ll get to it]

That's what I've been kicking around for LW09.

When we reached out to Lincoln Hancock about doing artwork and graphic design for the CD, it turned out he was already exploring something similar in his visual art. Synchronicity! It was a quite different process, but there was a resonance between what we were each getting into. And needless to say, we got a great cover out of it.

(Art and layout by Lincoln Hancock)

In the meantime, we wrote a number of songs, then essentially wrote them again with different decisions. Then we approached Nick Petersen and began recording, this time at his house.

The most straightforward version of the doubles is the pairing of "Strwpr" and "Strpwr". There are no changes at all to chords or structure (except “Strwpr” has a brief outro), a few blink-and-you’ll-miss-’em changes to the lyrics, and a substantial change in arrangement and feel. The first is an essentially live, high energy rocker mostly home recorded by the trio--although sadly that backwards guitar solo required an overdub. The second is our version of lush, adult studio jams, with the trio stepping back in the arrangement to make space for a bunch of talented guest musicians.

Our Very Special Guests(™) on “Strpwr”

Chris Eubank (cello)

David Garfield (saxophone)

Jeff Herrick (trumpet)

Shannon Morrow (percussion)

Hank Pellerin (trombone)

Crowmeat Bob Pence (bass clarinet)

Alan Petermann (violin)

Carrie Shull (English horn)

Wendy Spitzer (oboe)

Bob also played the Rhodes. Essential.

The rest of the easily recognizable doubles explored the concept in less overt ways. Some were expansions/reductions of each other, some reused melodies over new chord progressions, some took energy levels to opposite poles. There were also many cases of home recording vs. studio. Still, it was always clear they sprang from the same material. The differences were the choices in how that material was presented and re-presented.

In contrast, the double relationship between “Better Practice” and “The Story of Le Weekend Suite“ (that thing I didn’t want to spoil from my email above, remember?) was much less overt. Each song was written before we came up with the “doubles” concept, but were a big part of what inspired it in the first place. “Like how PG-13 is because of Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” you’re probably thinking, “even though the movies themselves are just PG!” Sounds like you nailed it.

To me, the songs represented the two main approaches I take to songwriting. We’ll call one the “Better Practice” way: a journey through many parts that may not seem connected at first, and if not done right, ever. The second, or as they say “The Story of Le Weekend Suite” method, results in a song overly succinct by pop standards, around 60-90 seconds, but if done right it feels complete. “Better Practice” also recapitulates an aspect of the doubles concept by having various parts recorded in different ways and then sequenced together, while “The Story of Le Weekend Suite” was both, as the title may suggest, a story (or images from a story) about recording Suite and a double of the song “Le Weekend Suite” from that album. Notably, the song “Le Weekend Suite”, unlike the “story” of it, is very much in the “Better Practice” vein. Finally, for someone who started playing in the last century and still thinks in terms of “albums,” you can honor the best songs by making them the opener or the closer.

Of course we didn’t want it to be necessary for a listener to nerd out on these layers to enjoy the songs or the album. Some are extremely inside baseball, and even for the band about as much gets figured out in analysis after the fact (i.e. frames of reference that can be applied afterward, or not) than gets planned up front. We aimed for a good record, thinking these elements could help make that happen. We also didn’t intend for it to be reducible to a hook or gimmick, but at the same time understood it might draw people in. In any case, everything was meant to be very openly “hidden”–I mean, we called the damn thing DBLSCRT.

We got some very much appreciated local press attention for this one. This included a feature by Chris Parker in the Indy (which we owed to the music editor Grayson Currin’s interest), and a review by Brian Howe in Shuffle.

The Indy article came out just in time to promote our bad ass release show at the Nightlight. Ezekiel Graves (w/ guest Crowmeat Bob) and Eric Roehrig opened, even debuting an occasion-specific number that I’m sure Erie Choir breaks out now and again late in their set lists. Most of the guest musicians from the album were able to join us, with a pinch hitter on violin.

Chris Eubank (cello)

Ecki Heins (violin)

Crowmeat Bob Pence (bass clarinet)

Carrie Shull (English horn, oboe)

Jeff Herrick (trumpet)

David Garfield (saxophone)

Hank Pellerin (trombone)

For that night only, the core band was a four-piece, with the incomparable Wes Phillips (sadly, no longer among us) on various instruments to recreate some of the band’s overdubs. And Nick ran sound so we could make all these things happen. It took a considerable amount of planning and squeezing inputs (not to mention squeezing people together) to pull off 11 musicians with a mix of electric and acoustic instruments through the Nightlight PA of the time!

As if that wasn’t enough, throughout the evening Dave Bjorkback and David Nahm provided astonishingly well researched color commentary / heckling, like if Statler and Waldorf were given mics. They even had to trigger Robert’s Discman (™) at two critical points in the show, for no extra pay.

And Ben Spiker documented it all! Well, parts anyway, but those are parts...of it all! A good bit was linked above. Dive into the rest for more photos and videos.

(Screen grab from video by Ben Spiker. l-r front row: Hank Pellerin, Jeff Herrick, David Garfield; back: Ecki Heins [profile], Robert Biggers [at drum kit], Matt Kalb, Wes Phillips [upstage, seated], Bob Wall; not pictured: Chris Eubank [upstage of Ecki], Crowmeat Bob and Carrie Shull [both front row, left of frame])

One bit of trivia before we go: Dave Bjorkback arrived at the show with his copy of the Indy that he’d picked up from work. When he saw someone else’s, he realized some of the unusual artistic choices were added post-print.

(Indy Article With Contributions By Unknown Graffitist (2010), photographed by Ben Spiker)

During the time frame of this installment, we played these shows.

03/12/09 - Nightlight - DEBUT OF LW AS A TRIO w/The Antlers and Actual Persons Living or Dead

05/09/09 - The Pinhook - w/Grappling Hook and Minor Stars

05/14/09 - Tir na nOg - w/Sorry About Dresden and The Dirty Little Heaters

09/04/09 - The Pinhook - w/Savage Knights and Bicameral Mind

09/19/09 - Nightlight - w/Inspector 22 and The Summertime Whisky Band

10/25/09 - Live on WXDU

02/20/10 - Nightlight - w/Monsonia and Actual Persons Living or Dead

06/09/10 - Nightlight - w/Green Grocer and Secret Boyfriend

09/17/10 - Nightlight - w/Decoration Ghost and On The Take

09/30/10 - The Pinhook - w/Jeremy Blair From Effingham and Wembley

10/29/10 - Nightlight - CD RELEASE for _DBLSCRT_, w/Ezekiel Graves and Eric Roehrig, plus live commentary by Dave Bjorkback and DC Nahm

And that’s all you get! For now.

[ramp-it-up]

For ur Christmas holiday visit thing can I get drabble of this prompt “Can’t I just give you $20 and you can buy something for yourself?” with Chris Evans or Andy Barber

Omgsh! This hit me like a ton of bricks! Here it is love! ����

Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader

Word Count: around 1K

Warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI. Holiday party, drinking, thirsting, talk of oral sex, face riding, infidelity. Pussy smelling. Allusions to bondage.

A/N: This is for My #DJs2KHolidayVisit. Thank you so much for this milestone. When I saw this ask from @lovebittenbyevans, it just popped in my head fully formed. Thanks, bby! 😘. Changed it just a tiny bit.

One of my absolute FAV Christmas movies is Love Actually, so every song on the soundtrack is a Christmas song to me. This is a little riff on that movie, and I hope you enjoy!

Notice: I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

It was December 23rd, and the office Christmas party was rocking and rolling at the local Ruth Chris. You were wearing your little red dress that matched your necklace. It was short and tight, and well, it showed what you were working with. You sat with your teammate Steph at a table near the bar.

“You’re not right for wearing that dress tonight. All the men and half the ladies’ heads are on a swivel.”

“Oh. This old thing?”

You stood up and twirled, laughing, drawing attention to yourself.

“This is for my boyfriend Drew. We’re gonna hook up later. I’m gonna suck his dick so good. Gonna be a good little cum slut for him tonight.”

Steph’s mouth was hanging open when you heard a deep voice say, “Hello ladies, Merry Christmas.”

Mr. Barber raised his glass to you two on the way back to the bar.

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Barber!” You two chimed in together.

“Why isn’t Drew here tonight? I've got to meet this man who has you so strung out.”

You shrugged and sipped your drink.

“He has his office party tonight as well. Gotta make an appearance. But later tonight, I’m gonna ride that face.” You stuck your tongue out and danced in your chair.

This was your first Klein Law Firm Christmas party since you started working there as a paralegal. Johanna was tough, but kind, as were all of the other lawyers. Except one. Andy Barber proved to be a tough nut to crack. He would hardly crack a smile. And who could blame him with all that he’d been through.

“Shit, I should have given Mr. Barber his present.”

You reached into our bag as Steph rolled her eyes.

“Suck up. You won’t make him any nicer that way. He’s just the Grinch.”

You just shook your head and laughed.

“I love your faith in humanity, Stephanie. He just wished us Merry Christmas.”

“Because we’re at a Christmas party.”

Steph was a paralegal as well, but was in law school. She was constantly tired and cynical, and trying to get you to go to City College with her for your law degree. But you were working on a special scholarship of your own.

“Speaking of sucking dick...” she was thirsting after Barber.

Steph laughed and you cut your eyes at her.

“Isn’t he very married?”

“Oh, yeah, but that shit is deader than a doornail. They’re only together because, we’ll, you know.”

You looked from her to Andy, who was sitting at the end of the bar, knocking back brown liquor and loosening his tie. He saw you looking and nodded.

“She’s out of town at her family’s home in the Hamptons until tomorrow. She should know better than to leave his fine ass alone.”

“I don’t know. Looks like he’s handling it.” You were not with the shits.

Steph sighed.

“Yeah.” She sipped her drink again. “With alcohol. Someone should tell him that a side piece will get him into just as much trouble and would be a lot more relaxing.”

You pulled the long flat box out of your bag.

“Don’t tell me you got him a tie. Really?” Seth rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, Steph. Look, there’s Nat over there. Didn’t you two hook up at the party last year?”

“Where?” Steph perked up looking for the redhead. “Hey, how did you know….”

She complained to your back as you approached Andy. He was looking up at a basketball game, looking a little lonely. Your heart skipped a beat as he watched you approach.

“Mr. Barber, I just wanted to get you a little something for the Holiday.”

Andy turned toward you on the stool, put his drink down and looked at the box.

“You really shouldn’t have.”

His voice was deep and his eyebrow raised as he looked up at you.

“I’m just in the Holiday spirit!”

You smiled brightly at him.

“My boyfriend Drew gave me this necklace for Christmas. Don’t need anything else.”

You reached up and toyed with the candy red heart on a gold chain that was around your neck. You really did love it.

Andy followed your hand and then the curves of your dress. You felt the heat every where his eyes went.

“Nice. But it’s two days before Christmas, it seems like an impulsive gesture for your boyfriend. No?”

Andy questioned you. But you weren’t a witness and you weren’t intimidated.

“I just think he’s in love.” You smiled widely. “He sent it to my desk at work today. Gonna thank him later tonight.”

Andy nodded his head. “I hear that he’s also a very lucky man.”

You wondered if Andy heard what you told Steph about what you were going to do to Drew later that night. His poker face wouldn’t give it away, however.

“I’m a lucky girl.”

You looked at Andy and then exclaimed, “Open it!”

Andy chuckled and grabbed the box, opening it and lifting out the steel blue and grey striped tie.

“I know how much you like to tie.. I mean like wearing ties.”

You took it from his hands and placed it around his neck, touching his chest to drape it. He inhaled your scent and licked his lips.

Then he looked behind you.

“See. It brings out your eyes.”

His voice changed.

“Thank you, y/n.”

He straightened up.

“But I didn't get you anything.”

You looked at him strangely when he reached for his wallet.

“Let me just give you $20 and you can buy something for yourself?”

You were about to say something when you heard a throat cleared behind you.

You glanced and saw Steph beside you at the bar. Then you turned back to Andy and grabbed the bill.

“I’ll take you up on that Mr. Barber. I’ll buy something for myself tonight. Have a Merry Christmas!”

Andy smiled at you. “You too.” He gulped his drink. “Steph.”

He nodded at your friend and then made his way over to Johanna.

“I told you his heart is two sizes too small, girl.”

You sighed, stood up and smoothed your dress.

“It’s not that deep, Steph. I’m headed out to meet my man anyway. Have a good one!” You gave her a hug and ordered a ride, within 15 minutes, you were on your way home.

A little over an hour later, you were wearing only your candy red lingerie and your necklace when you opened the door.

There he was. Your man.

You were snatched up by the waist and you wrapped your legs around him as he carried you to the couch.

“I bought us some Thai food from Little Bangkok”

“Mmmmmhmmmm. Later. Right now, I just gotta smell that pussy. Been driving me crazy all night.”

He snatched your legs open and pressed his nose in your red satin covered crotch. You ran your hand through his hair.

“Smells so gotdamn good.”

He moaned it against your cunt, sending shivers up your spine and causing you to squirm.

“I’m gonna eat my fill. Of you.”

He looked up at you, eyes twinkling.

“Then, I’m gonna tie you up...” he lifted the tie off his jacket, “with this present I got tonight. I’ll finally teach you to stay still while I deliver this cock.”

You sighed contentedly as Andrew Barber kissed you long and hard. You palmed his impressive erection throgh his dress pants.

“Two things, let me have all the cummies I want. And don’t leave until you absolutely have to.”

You pouted up at Andy and he couldn’t resist. He looked at his watch. It was 10 pm. He calculated in his head. Laurie wouldn’t be home until about 5.

“You have me and all the cum you want for another 16 hours.”

You smiled at him as he carried you into your bedroom, the heart necklace nestled between your breasts.

“Love you Daddy Drew.”

“I love you too, Muffin. Merry Christmas.”

[sassygwaine]

here it is! the soundtrack to a love that won't sit still, the rather sprawling modern au series that i've been pouring my heart into these past couple months

best listened to in playlist order, track list below the cut

stray italian greyhound – vienna teng

this feeling calls for everything that I am not / I’m not that kind / I’m so good at shooting down any notion / this tired world could change

benjamin alphabet – super whatevr

if we weren’t so alike, maybe we’d work it out / but we’re stuck in this rut and my mind’s headed south

doa – olen

you hurt me bad just for fun / someday, some way / someone’s gonna love me

pressed 2 death – illuminati hotties

you only like me when I’m sad / you only want me when I’m feeling bad

bambi – hippo campus

I swear to god I wasn’t born to fight / maybe just a little bit, enough to make me sick of it / but I can read between the lines / I want to run from everything / but my legs won’t work it’s clear to me

sleep with a baseball bat – cosmic johnny

hey, space cadet / are you still floating around the rock / that you spent so much of your life trying to get away from / and does it at least look different up there?

settling – ripe

every time that you behave / every time you play it safe / you can feel it getting harder / still you’re waiting for things to get better / but you’re not sure if it’s now or never

bummer days – liza anne

I don’t know what I want, but I know that I feel bad / and then when I feel good, I think I make myself sad

heaven – los lonely boys

save me from this prison / lord help me get away / ‘cause only you can save me now / from this misery / I’ve been lost in my own place / and I’m getting weary

change – the catching

it’s time for a change / get out of your brain / it’s time that you’re wasting / you feel pretty vacant / it’s different than it was before

baby blue shades – bad suns

oh, I can see the moon from my kitchen / but I cannot see through this decision / I close my eyes and cross a line

everybody breaks – ivan & alyosha

who’s gonna bend now? / who’s gonna break? / who’s got the map to tell me what’s at stake?

heaven – bayside

but I’m getting old, it’s so contagious / if life’s a ride, then I don’t know the way / and I am a loner / and I am a fraud / and I am in hell / right where I belong / I am a sinner / but aren’t we all?

talk it up – sammy rae & the friends

smoky walls, dusty halls / no one calls / and all the window plants are dying / she talk it up / half empty cup / half-hearted love / half of the time halfway through crying

good riddance – green day

another turning point, a fork stuck in the road / time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go / so make the best of this test and don’t ask why

roots – grumpster

any time I think I feel at home again, I hit the ground running ‘til I’m gone

dwell on the guilt of saving myself – super whatevr

when everything is good, I feel like I’m somebody else / the sick loves the sick, but I’m sick of the dying. where’s the shame in wanting to grow old?

lady d’arbanville – yusuf / cat stevens

I’ll wake you tomorrow

life was easier when I only cared about me – bad suns

I had no reason to breathe / until you knocked the wind out of me / I had no light I could see / until your radiance blinded me / I was spinning around and around in an ocean of grief / your ladder came down to the sea

go your own way – fleetwood mac

open up, everything’s waiting for you

real contender – the dip

changin’ of the seasons / time is always creepin’ along / I wanna be a real contender / whether you see it or not / I know it’s in there, somewhere / this thing that we got / for once in my life I am sure of something

south – hippo campus

you broke down and left me with a / chest hum, black gun, and forty dollars / three weeks down, I drowned myself in whiskey

sabotage – beastie boys

I can’t stand rocking when I’m in here / ‘cause your crystal ball ain’t so crystal clear / so while you sit back and wonder why / I got this fucking thorn in my side

psycho – maisie peters

I feel like you feel nothing, that’s fine / please leave this behind / you’re losing your mind / calling me a hundred times / time you drew a line / and stopped wasting mine

well, fuck – mal blum

or did you lose like every other time you lost? / you have a god, you have a boss, no matter what you call / it’s all the same / fuck you, but I’ll do the things you want me to

gone insane – lucius

my heart’s so heavy I’m gonna need your help / losing my grip while holding everything else / my fists are clenched and I’m so angry with myself / the time we share is in the suffering / we’re all alone in this togetherness / go on and call me the one who’s gone insane / oh I will be the one who’s gone insane

slip the noose – the maine

I was on the verge of breaking down/ then you came around/ and not a second too late

trying to kill the moon – motherfolk

I never wanted it all / ‘til I found you / teach me as I fall / to fall towards you

crystal – stevie nicks

I turned around / and the water was closing all around / like a glove / like the love that had finally, finally found me

didya think – arlie

didya think it’d be easy? / I’ll tell you if it was easy / then everybody’d do it too

little words – the happy fits

darling, darling, darling, let me shelter you / lay you into all the homes that fear has made of me / how the shingles fall like dust beside your company

hide – rainbow kitten surprise

and he’s a better kisser than you’d think, mom / he’s a better listener than most / we took pretty pictures by the sea, mom / fell in love and sailed off

I’m okay – honest men

I’m in a good position to lose it again / the cards are dealt and my hand is in / the push and pull of my own chagrin / I’m alright

flipside – ripe

it’s alright to dive / with survival on your mind / you can take it step by step / ‘til you find solid ground

conversation – mom rock

you feel the pain and blame it on yourself / you feel the pain and hurt someone else

better in the morning – birdtalker

behind my eyes a familiar child / I take his hand and he finally smiles / be gentle with yourself as you uncover / your best kept secrets yet to be discovered

the reckoning – dom fera

change ain’t so sudden / it just hides as it’s coming / is this change or fruition / of some hope and ambition? / is this all repercussions?

bloodlust – left at London

what is hell to the god that you pray to? / either way, tell the devil “just trust us” / don’t expect anybody would’ve saved you / bloodlust tastes a little like justice

divine violence – itoldyouiwouldeatyou

and I know your father was an asshole but you ought to learn / how to keep yourself alive / because I shoot on sight now

work out – rainbow kitten surprise

well, the first cut was the deepest / but it healed up whole / and the last one was a clean hit / but I bled out below

shimmer – fuel

she says that love / is for fools that fall behind / and I’m somewhere between / I never really know a killer from a savior / ‘til I break at the bend

strangest faces – bayside

I have seen the strangest faces / yellow teeth and scary eyes / it turns out they’ve been there all my life / it’s hard to find a friendly face / when you’ve got nothing left to sell

lord is it mine – supertramp

when everything’s dark / and nothing seems right / there’s nothing to win / and there’s no need to fight / I never cease to wonder at the cruelty of this land / but it seems a time of sadness is a time to understand

the garden – the happy fits

so if I lay down / and let roots grow ‘round / would it make me whole again? / and if barren wood / could touch this ground, oh / flower it would

superbloom – misterwives

wallflower in the spring / they can’t contain you / through the cracks, you break through

saw it coming – sammy rae & the friends

you’re gonna get the good that’s coming to you / you deserve it / even if you do not feel like you do

ghost stories – the narcissist cookbook

there is no ‘why’ about it / there is a ‘how’, I suppose, don’t really understand it though / maybe if I dug around a bit in the soil / I’d find out where all this love comes from and what it’s for / but then the question would be answered

two – sleeping at last

like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up

nobody – hozier

we could have less to worry about / honey, I won’t lie to you / but everything I do / I’ve had no love like your love

you are the best thing – ray lamontagne

and baby / the way you move me, it’s crazy / it’s like you see right through me / and make it easier

easy silence – the chicks

and I’ve got all the world to lose / but I just want to hold on to / the easy silence that you make for me

living my best life – ben rector

I wake up with the sunrise / it does not look a thing like I thought that I would / but I’ve been getting my steps in / and I sleep with my best friend / it’s the best that it has been in a long time

know that I know – lake street dive

yeah, we’re like sneakers and gym socks / you’re happy hour and I am five o’clock / you’re captain kirk to my spock / you know I’m dee dee ramone and you’re punk rock

good old-fashioned lover boy – queen

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things / we can do the tango just for two / I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings

sweetheart – kerry courtney

with everything you’ve been through dear / you’re stronger than you think / you’re kinda fucked up / and I love you for it / you’ve got a sweetheart / don’t you dare forget it

kick it to me – sammy rae & the friends

nowadays we’re working at the same pace / I’m still here still bright when the night comes / still burning, still bright when the night comes

[tenseoyong]

Okay okay, how would you rank 127 on how vocal they are during sex? 👀

doyoung isn’t silent in the bedroom, but he’s quiet, you feel me? like he’s obviously holding back to not be heard, whispering filth in your ear and quietly grunting and moaning into your neck to muffle the sound. it’s sort of like he’s holding his breath, expecting to be caught at any moment, even when you’re not at the dorms when you’re fooling around. he’s just pretty low volumed, but not a completely mute lover. 4/10

yuta is already fairly hyper and gets pretty loud when he’s extra excited. yuta is very vocal during sex, all across the board. he’s talking dirty and moaning and groaning, breathing heavy and calling your name, begging and demanding, the whole fucking nine yards. there’s absolutely no convincing yourself oh they’re just...jumping on the bed or something when you walk past a room and hear you two, there’s really no explaining away yuta groaning loud and clear, “fuck—you take my cock so well, don’t stop baby, i’m almost there...” no explanation at all. 1000/10

mark is such a whiner in the bedroom. he really is the epitome of your high school boyfriend, it really sounds like he’s experiencing sex for the first time—but every time. he’s all whimpers and high pitched moans, grunting when you ride him, gasping in pleasure and his face scrunched up in the cutest ways. his volume can vary, sometimes he can contain himself, sometimes he forgets he’s supposed to be being quiet and getting pretty loud, and definitely gets mocked when you two rejoin the group in the living room, trying to pretend like nothing happened but after hearing mark and seeing your disheveled hair and clothes, there’s no hiding it. 7/10

haechan is loud on occassion, mostly times when you’ve managed to sneak him from the dorms back to your place for some actual privacy. there, haechan gets a bit more vocal, mostly just breathless swearing. otherwise, he’s low groans and moaning against your skin, trying to muffle it but he’s still a bit too loud to be able to miss it. 2/10

taeyong....oh bubu...you leave him alone for two seconds and he’s making up his own animal crossing soundtrack, there’s not scenario where this boy is quiet. he’s another whiny boy, panting and moaning loudly, barely able to form a coherent sentence due to the pleasure running through him, “fuck you feel so—oh shit—god, so good, so good—oh my go—fuck!” he’s such a gasp! and then giggle kind of lover, honestly half of taeyong noises in the bedroom are him giggling every time you make eye contact. 9/10

johnny is just...can you say sir personified?? he’s so so vocal, constantly teasing you and laughing when your face scrunches up every time he bottoms out, demanding you to move this way or that, flipping you from position to position, telling you to beg him to let you cum or wanting you to tell him “tell daddy how good does his cock makes you feel—answer me, now!” johnny is all deep ass moans that seem to make the walls vibrate and less than quiet moaning and dirty talking. 10/10

sicheng is another quiet but not silent lover. i’d peg him as more of a quiet by choice kind of guy, you know those ones that think guys aren’t supposed to moan or something for whatever reason men are so dumb so he’s just breathing heavy and maybe you’ll get a small grunt of pleasure here or there until you’re like??? am i doing something wrong or what because why are you so quiet? and you have to do the whole convo of babe, do you understand how hot it is to hear you moan? keep doing that, i want to hear it. after that, he’s still pretty hesitant to get more vocal, but you definitely see an improvement from before, getting more muffled moans and the occasional quiet “fuck!” 1/10

jaehyun is another very talkative lover. he’s constantly cooing and praising his lover throughout sex. “ah, my love is so cute, aren’t you?—keep moving, baby, think you can cum just from riding my thigh, hmm?—fuck, you feel so good, so tight around daddy’s cock, made just for me, weren’t you?” he’s not quite as loud as johnny when he’s moaning, mostly small grunts here and there, and groaning right against your ear, knowing how much the sound turns you on, he likes keeping it just between you and him, not wanting anyone else to hear. 8/10

jungwoo is a natural class clown. jungwoo would have the most casual, easy going, giggly sex you can imagine. so lighthearted, jungwoo giggles a lot, happily teasing you, “ah—you’re so red, it’s so cute!—what’s the matter? can’t handle my cock? ah, well that’s too bad, you’re going to have to take it, and then you’ll thank me, won’t you?—say thank you, like a good baby.” he doesn’t hold back, every loud ass moan he let’s free, your flush deepens and hell, why would he deny himself that sight? he freely moans, filling the air with his pleasure filled groans and heavy breathing, light swearing, and chanting praises and teasing you the whole time. 15/10

[callivich]

I really love the idea of Lip having to take Ian and Mickey home after their anniversary party, so I wrote a little something.

This references a previous ficlet where Lip has an inappropriate dream about Mickey, so adults only please!

Thanks to @udontfuckangie for the advice RE: babies in car seats in ambulances! This was originally going to have Tami drive the ambulance with Freddie but yeah, not safe. So, I had to change things - therefore let’s assume the ambulance is fine parked outside the Alibi for a night. Also, the song is “Hot Girl” by Megan Thee Stallion.

Lip gets into the front seat of his and Tami’s car to find Mickey leaning through the gap, half in the front of the car and half in the back, fiddling with the radio. He flicks through the different stations until he finds something he wants to listen to. Lip wants to shove him backwards and tell him to sit the fuck down, but...fuck, it’s their wedding anniversary. So, he’ll allow it.

“All the hot girls make it pop, pop, pop, bad bitches with the bag say ah ya ya”

“Fucking love this song.” Mickey shouts, turning the volume up, the bass vibrating through the car. He scrambles back awkwardly, elbowing Lip in the side, so that he’s sitting in the back seat. Ian laughs like this is the most hilarious thing that he’s ever seen. They both nod their heads in time to the rhythm, singing the chorus loudly.

Lip shakes his head, if there’s one thing he hates about being sober it’s dealing with drunk people, but, he reminds himself it’s their wedding anniversary and, goddamn, do they deserve to be carefree and happy. And they are feeling very carefree and happy right now. And also very drunk. So much so, it was decided that they should leave the ambulance outside the Albi and Lip would drive them home, before coming back to the bar to get Tami and Fred. It’s not that late, and Freddie is sleeping soundly so he leaves Tami to enjoy the party for a bit longer.

The song ends and Lip quickly turns down the volume so his eardrums aren’t destroyed.

“Play it again!” Mickey shouts, again, as if Lip isn’t sitting right in front of him.

“I can’t, it’s the radio.”

“Fuck you.”

He can hear Ian laughing again, like Mickey is the funniest person in the world.

“Put your seatbelts on.” Lip orders, cutting through the laughter.

“Fuck you.” Mickey replies, as Ian puts on his own seatbelt.

“Very creative, you just gonna repeat yourself all night? I’m not driving until you wear a seatbelt.” Lip sighs, as Ian’s words from earlier come back to haunt him - he’s feeling very much like a dad to Ian and Mickey right now.

“M’fine, just drive, bitch.” Mickey grumbles, punching the back of Lip’s seat.

“No.” Lip taps the steering wheel. “Seatbelt.”

“Here, I’ll do it.” Ian reaches across Mickey and pulls the seatbelt, clicking it into place after a few tries. “Gotta keep you safe.” He gently pats Mickey’s chest.

Lip rolls his eyes at the sappy, soft tone of Ian’s voice, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get over hearing Ian speak like that to Mickey fucking Milkovich, as if he’s the most precious thing in the world. But, he supposes, to Ian he is. Still, it’s weird.

Checking one more time to see they are wearing seatbelts, he starts the car and wishes for no traffic and an easy ride to the West Side.

“You liked the surprise?” Mickey asks Ian.

“Loved it.”

“I got you good.”

“Yeah, you did. Really thought you’d forgotten.”

“But I didn’t!”

“Fucking love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

And then the inevitable making out starts, and the car is filled with the sounds of sloppy kissing, breathy ‘yeah’s, and some verging on pornographic sounding moaning.

“Wanna suck you off.” Mickey whispers, thankfully loud enough for Lip to hear so he can put a stop to that before it happens. He reaches one arm behind and pushes blindly at Mickey’s head.

“No you’re not, Mickey. I’m serious, sit back.” He pulls his arm back, when he hears Mickey huffing and swearing under his breath. He checks the rear view mirror, and Mickey is glaring at him but sitting upright.

“It’s our fucking wedding anniversary.” Mickey punches the back of Lip’s seat again.

“I know, but you aren’t going to suck my brother off in the backseat of my car. That just isn’t going to happen.” Lip takes a deep breath, goddamn, Mickey is a pain in the ass when he’s drunk, and even more so than usual tonight. Probably down to him being so pleased at pulling off the surprise. And Lip gets that - Ian looked completely astonished when he’d walked into the party. Ian is drunker than Lip’s seen him in a long while - he doesn’t usually drink that much because of his meds, but once in awhile, during a special occasion like this, he lets loose. And it’s kinda nice to see? Because Ian is a sweet, sappy and very silly drunk - there’s something endearing about his behaviour. Lip likes seeing him carefree like this. He doesn’t feel the same way about Mickey, but then, he’s never really found Mickey that endearing.

Lip hears a slurred “c’mere” and some giggling and then there is more kissing. Which is fine, but anything more than that and he’s pulling this car over immediately. He really is in dad mode. He doesn’t want to spoil all their fun, he just doesn’t want to be anywhere near their fun while they’re having it.

The drive seems to take forever, all to the soundtrack of two very in love husbands who are making out as if it’s the first time they’ve ever done it. Lip can’t lie to himself, he’s a little jealous. He’d love a night like this with Tami - just the two of them, happy and silly and able to make out like teenagers. But that’s probably not going to happen anytime soon. Especially if she’s pregnant again. That’s a thought for another day though. Right now he needs to concentrate on Ian and Mickey.

He was hoping to just drop them off, but Lip realises, as he pulls into the apartment car park, that isn’t going to work. Because the first thing Ian says as the car comes to a stop is “let’s go swimming!”

“Yeah! Let’s fuck in the pool!” Mickey agrees excitedly, pulling on the car door and failing to open it.

Lip realises he needs to make sure they get to their apartment before they get themselves in trouble. He has visions of them being found floating face down in the pool, so he helps them both out of the car and firmly steers them towards the entrance to the apartment block.

“No swimming. You two are way too fucked up for that.” He ushers them through the open door into a well lit corridor, lined with doors to apartments and other doors to what he guesses are the offices and maintenance for the building.

“You just.....you just don’t wanna see Mickey without a shirt. In case you get all excited...again.” Ian is grinning, his face flushed.

“What?” Mickey barks, suddenly very interested in the handle of a door which he yanks up and down. There’s a sign that reads ‘private’ and it’s obviously locked but Mickey continues to yank at it for some reason Lip can’t fathom.

“He had a sex dream about you.” Ian is attempting to whisper, but it’s loud, oh so loud in the empty hallway. “I’m not supposed to say because it’s a secret.”

“Ian. What the fuck?” Lip sighs, exasperated.

“Ugh, gross.” Mickey gives up on trying to open the locked door, and turns to Lip with a disgusted look on his face. “Don’t fucking dream about me like that.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose. It was a fucking dream.” Lip realises his mistake as soon as the words come out of his mouth.

“It sure was!” Ian is still grinning. “A fucking dream. Where you fucked Mickey!” He bursts into laughter at his own joke, leaning against the wall.

Mickey still has that disgusted look on his face. “As if I would ever let you....” He shakes his head. “Fucking gross. I love Ian. Only wanna get fucked by Ian.”

Christ, Lip thinks, he needs to get them to their apartment, he doesn’t want to hear anymore of this kind of talk.

Mickey has taken Ian’s hands in his own, and Ian’s looking at Mickey like what he just said was very romantic. “Yeah, Lip, you can’t have him. He’s mine. My husband.”

“It was a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. I definitely do not want to have sex with Mickey. Ok? Let’s just get you two to your apartment. Now.” Lip pushes them firmly, and they stumble forward, still holding hands.

“Good. Besides...if I was...if I was single. Sure as fuck wouldn’t want to fuck you.....jabby.”

Lip frowns, “How do you know about that?”

“Oh, me and Tami....we talk. Gotta complain about you Gallaghers.”

“Jesus Christ. You two are friends now?”

“Yeah.” Mickey laughs. “Guess so.”

“Jabby!” Ian shouts gleefully, running slightly behind in the conversation, but with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what ‘jabby’ refers to.

“And you told him? Great.”

“Course I did, it was fucking funny.”

“It’s ok.” Ian pats Lip on the shoulder, trying to be reassuring. “I’m sure you’ll get better with practice.” Mickey lets out what Lip can only describe as a cackle.

“Jesus Christ, that was one time and it was a one off.” They are finally, finally, at the elevators and he practically punches the up button. He’s hasn’t been here before but he remembers Ian saying their apartment was on the second floor, so he trusts that’s right.

“In you go.” He herds them into the elevator and presses the ‘2’ button. And once again, they are on each other, furiously kissing. Lip thinks the elevator is moving much to slowly. He hits the ‘2’ button again. Mercifully, the elevator doors soon open on the second floor. But neither Mickey or Ian has noticed and Lip grabs Ian by the back of his coat and pulls him out, Mickey stumbling after him.

“Hey, hands off.” Mickey grabs for Ian, who Lip is dragging behind him as he purposefully strides down the corridor. He has to get them inside, he can’t take much more of this.

“He’s stealing me, Mickey!” Ian laughs, “Help! Help!” His voice echoes much too loudly around the corridor.

“I’ll...save you!” Mickey manages to spit out between laughs, almost doubling over.

“You can have him back when we get to your place? Ok.” Lip turns and looks over his shoulder. “Just come on Mickey, follow us.”

A door they are passing suddenly swings open, and a very annoyed older lady is standing there, cell phone in hand. “Everything alright? I heard someone say they needed help?”

“No, no. Everything’s fine.” Lip smiles, trying to look respectable. Which is hard because Ian and Mickey are giggling, red-faced and stumbling about. “They....they’ve just had a bit too much to drink and I’m helping them get home.”

“It’s our wedding anniversary!” Ian yells, throwing his arms in the air.

The woman looks distinctly unimpressed. “That’s very nice. But it’s late, you know. You can’t go around shouting for help if you don’t need it. Especially at this time of night!”

“Listen lady, if my husband-”

Lip interrupts before Mickey can finish whatever threat he’s about to make, “They know, and they’re very sorry. And I’m gonna make sure they are quiet right now.” He grabs Ian’s hand and then Mickey’s and uses all his strength to get them to start walking, as the woman shuts her door with one more disapproving glare. “Come on. Home. Now. Please.”

They get to the door of the apartment Lip thought they would never reach. “Keys?”

Ian frowns, as if this question is a difficult math problem on a test he didn’t study for. “Uh.” He slaps one hand to his chest, then the other and then begins to rummage around in his jacket pockets. “Uh. Hmmm....”

Mickey isn’t much help either. “Maybe....here?” He says, grabbing Ian’s crotch, which causes Ian to smile and giggle and get distracted.

“Come on, Ian. Where are the keys?”

“Oh. Yeah. Keys.” He eventually produces a set from his jacket which has far too many pockets for Lip’s liking or for his tolerance at this time in this never ending evening. “Keys!”

“Good. Great.” Lip snatches them, opens the door, and shoves them, gently - it is their anniversary after all, no matter how fucking annoying they are being - through the door, slamming it shut behind him as he follows them in. He lets out a deep breath, it felt like they would never get here.

The apartment is nice, new, modern. The kind of place he never would have imagined them living in. In fact, even though it’s not furnished properly yet, Lip can see it’s a really nice place. And he’s pleased, he wants them, especially Ian, to live somewhere good like this. They deserve it.

They’re standing in the middle of the empty living room, holding one another, swaying slightly. Ian’s hands move down Mickey’s back to rest on his ass. Better get out of here, Lip thinks to himself.

“You guys need to drink some water.” He starts to rummage around the pristine kitchen until he finds two glasses that he recognises from home...or rather, what’s no longer home, not really - the Gallagher house. There’s only two glasses, clearly they haven’t been shopping yet, he fills them both with water.

“Alright, lovebirds, drink up!” Lip holds the glasses out, but neither of them move. They’re just staring at one another, silently, with small smiles on their faces. “Not gonna leave till you have some water.”

They both put one arm out at the same time, because of course they do. Lip hands them their water and waits until they’ve both drunk their whole glasses.

Satisfied that he’s done everything he can, he makes a move to leave. “I’m going. Enjoy the rest of your anniversary.”

Ian is caressing Mickey’s face with one hand, the other barely holding the glass which is dangling at his side. “Thanks, Lip. Love you bro.”

“Love you too, asshole.” He turns to leave, but fuck it....Mickey is his brother-in-law, and even though he’s a real pain in the ass, he makes Ian happy and that’s the most important thing, and also they’re probably too drunk to remember what he’s going to say.... “And you too, Mick.”

“Gross. Stop fucking fantasising about me, Philip.” Mickey grumbles, never taking his eyes of Ian.

Lip laughs, and let’s himself out, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.

[raindownforme]

Hey! I don’t mean to bug but I have another Ted idea in mind, i wanted to send it in before I forgot it.

Basically reader and Ted are sort of rivals and try to out do each other in everything. Reader thinks Ted despises her with all of his snarky/witty comments and the staring he does when they’re in class. The reader is awfully confused when Ted knocks on their bedroom window asking her to sneak out and drive to the next city over and stay with him for the weekend. The reader is even more confused when she finds herself wanting to go and packing a backpack. She/her pronouns (This is a weird one and I completely understand if it’s out of your comfort zone, I just thought it’d be a cool coming of age rivals to lovers story) :)

Mean

Ted Nivison x reader [she/her used]

y/n silently opened the door to the empty classroom. She knew she was late. Everyone knew she was late.

“You’re late.” Ted rummaged his hand around in his backpack, clearly searching for something.

“Gee thanks. I’m excused.” y/n set her bag down in a corner and turned towards the teenage boy. “Why aren’t you out there.”

“Because I get a script.” Ted flashed the stack of papers, waving them smugly before closing his bag. “Where’s your script?”

“Memorized.” She grabbed her water bottle and went onto the stage. She stood silently in the wings, waiting for a familiar cue to be called. Looking over to her left, she watched a group of freshman girls giggling in a circle, quite obviously fawning over Ted. She gestured at them to be quiet, and they did for a moment, but they soon went back to their antics.

“Off-book date isn’t for another three weeks. Little bit of a try-hard are you?”

“Maybe I’m just better.” Ted shifted his weight on his feet. He stood close to her, flipping through the pages in his script. She turned to him, pointing out where they were on the page.

“A know-it-all too then?”

“Forgive me for being nice to you.” She rolled her eyes as she side-stepped away from him.

“Oh never. I’m going to remember this for the rest of your life. How you just had to know what page it is.”

“Jesus. Fuck off would you?” y/n left Ted backstage, entering the ongoing scene with open arms.

———

The stage was quiet. By now everything was winding down. Underclassmen were waiting for their rides while upperclassmen discussed where to go for dinner. Techies were shutting down all the set pieces and electronics. Actors were putting away supplies. y/n was standing center stage. The soundtrack echoed through her head she hummed, pivoting on her feet. Today they had gone over some major choreography for the show, and she knew it better to practice now rather than forget later.

She ended her choreography, spinning with her arms upwards. She then let them fall down to her side, relaxing her entire body in the process.

“Need some help there?” Ted’s voice echoed through the almost empty space. y/n groaned, not turning to him.

“I’m doing just fine. Thanks.” She walked to the edge of stage right, grabbing her water bottle and bag from where it resided. “Don’t you have a curfew?”

“Don’t you?” Ted watched her walk upstage towards the green room. “I think you’re finally nailing that box step. I mean, it’s been what, three years?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Ted.”

“Oh don’t leave me hanging.” Ted followed after her, walking all the way to the door that lead outside of the school. “You giving up already?"

She turned back to him, holding the door open with one hand. “I’m not in the mood tonight, Ted, so good night.” y/n slammed the school door shut, leaving Ted alone in the echoing hallway.

———

y/n was still awake. She’d been up for a while now, going over her musical score, making sure every note change and accidental was circled. There were countless pages it seemed, her being cast as a main character, but it was nearing three AM and she was finally done.

She shut her script, stretching her shoulders as she stood from the desk chair. She meant to reach upwards to dim her lamp light, but paused as she heard a knock on her window. y/n thought it was a fluke, a tree scratching at the wall, but then it happened again. Three times in succession, definitely intentional.

y/n threw open the blinds. In the window she could see a lone stick being held up by a very short Ted.

“Hello?” She opened the window, poking out her head. Ted was indeed there. Her window stood six feet above the ground outside, and Ted’s extreme height poked just above that.

“Hey!” He smiled, which she found almost unusual, but she liked it. He dropped the stick he had been holding and looked up to her. She took note of the fact that he was fully dressed, even though it was an early Saturday morning. She could smell the dew in the air and the cologne on the hoodie Ted wore. She revelled in it for a moment, allowing herself only that moment. “I didn’t catch you at a bad time did I?”

“N-No. I mean, I wasn’t doing much. How do you know where I live?”

“Come with me. Right now.”

“Where?” y/n drew back a bit, confused by Ted’s sudden change of pace.

“The waterfront. Downtown. Please?”

“Ted I-“ y/n looked back into her room. She could pack a quick bag if she really wanted to. She could be gone and back at any time if she really wanted to. “Why?”

“Because. I want to go and you’re who I want to go with me.” Ted extended his hand towards her. “I’m parked across the street.”

y/n sighed, closing her eyes for a second. “Give me two minutes.” She turned back into her room, almost panicking. She threw on a pair of sweat pants and her sneakers, keeping on her comfortable t-shirt. She grabbed an empty backpack and began stuffing it with an extra pair of clothes, a phone charger, her house keys, and travel toiletries. She turned back to her window. Ted stood there expectantly. She tossed the bag to him, and he caught it with ease, throwing it over his shoulder. Next our the window was her, which didn’t come as easy. She started by sitting on the ledge, swinging her legs as she looked at the jump. Thankfully, on her way down, she landed on her feet in the grass. Ted smiled at her, leading the way to his car.

y/n shut the door after herself, inhaling the cold morning air. “We could go to the greenway. I mean the carousel won’t be open but everything else."

y/n nodded as Ted started up his car. It hummed as they drove through the neighborhoods and the freeway, landing them in the middle of downtown. She gazed out the window at the tall cement offices and shops. Ted took her down a series of main roads that gradually became smaller. y/n turned to him, watching the street lights reflect on his glasses.

“Ted, where are we going?”

“The water front! We’ll be there in a second.” Ted followed the paved roads a few minutes longer until pulling aside near a park. “Come on."

Ted hopped out of the truck, not walking towards the meter to pay for parking. He went to open y/n’s door for her, startling the girl. The two walked for a moment, ending up at a rail that over looked the river. “Ted this is-“

“Is there something wrong?” The street lamps danced in the waves of the harbor as they lapped against the brick retaining wall. She looked up to Ted and could see the lights reflect in the lenses of his glasses. Behind that, she could see the worry laced across his face.

“No. I just- I thought you hated me, and this? This is not hateful.”

“Oh.” Ted rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. y/n didn’t notice, instead focusing on not shivering. “Are you cold?”

“I mean yeah. Aren’t you?”

“No but- here take it.” He pulled off his hoodie to drape over y/n’s shoulders. She slowly put on the item, taking in the way it fit just loosely enough.

“Thanks. For not- y’a know- bein’ an asshole.”

“Right.” The silence between the two was uncomfortable as they stared out into the water. “I should’ve been nicer to you. Just- in general. I should’ve.”

“I could’ve been nicer to you, too. I mean, where’s the fun in that though?” She smiled, leaning over the railing of the waterfront. She let herself dangle for a moment, smiling as came back up.

“I could keep being nice to you.” Ted moved a step closer to her, the darkness barely hiding the blush growing across his face.

“Why?”

“I like being nice to you. I like-“ Ted paused, considering what he was trying to say. “Do you hate me?”

y/n whipped her head to the side, looking confusedly at Ted. “No. Ted I never hated you. I thought you hated me!”

“No never I-“ he sucked in a shaky breath. “I like you. A lot. Like, a lot. And I’m sorry I never told you I just- it was so easy to act like you didn’t like me and that you hated me but I- I’m sorry.”

y/n took Ted’s hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. “I wanted to hate you. I really did.”

“I mean, I’m glad you don’t because really like you. Like I can’t emphasize it enough.”

“We’ll good cause I like you too.”

“Really? No wait really?” Ted turned away form the water towards her, a smile almost splitting his face in half. “Can I-“

“Yes.” She placed her hands on his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Ted kissed her almost roughly, pulling her closer every second. y/n smiled against him, feeling his glasses ouch against her eyebrows and the way his cheek molded against her hand.

Ted pulled away slightly, taking a quick breath. “Wow. That was- wow. You’re- wow.”

y/n laughed. “You got words there?”

“Whatever smart-ass.” He went to kiss her again, this one being shorter. “Where to next?”

“Anywhere.” She smiled, looking back towards the sleeping city beside them. “Take me anywhere.”

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

This story takes place during the summer of 1987. It’s the time of the Cold War, and heavy metal, and Just Say No.

Ten chapters, each with a specific song as its soundtrack.

I’m so excited to finally share it with you.

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Also posted at AO3

—-

Chapter 3: Dancing On Glass

I've been through hell // And I'm never goin' back // To dancing on glass // Going way too fast...

Need one more rush // Then I know, I know I'll stop // One extra push // Last trip to the top...

Soundtrack: “Dancing On Glass,” Mötley Crüe, 1987 [click here to listen]

Three P.M.

Group.

Claire’s hands wrapped around the hard sides of the plastic chair, holding herself upright, watching about two dozen fellow patients? inmates? addicts? shuffle into the room.

Two people stood at the door – greeting others as they entered, handing out small packets of tissues and bottles of Coke.

Today’s facilitator – a middle-aged, bearded man – stood to one side, chatting with a few people.

“Hey!”

Claire startled – and turned to her right to see Jamie slide into the chair beside her.

“How’s it going today? Day two, right?”

She nodded. “Met with my therapist this morning.”

“That’s great! Who’ve you got?”

“Gillian.”

Jamie cracked open a bottle. “Oh, she’s great. Been here a long time. She’s married to the director – did you know that?”

Claire’s eyebrows raised. “No, but that’s really interesting.”

Jamie gulped about half the bottle in one shot. “Yeah. We owe everything to them.”

“Yeah, well. I got assigned to dinner set-up duty.”

He beamed. “Great! I’ve been on that rotation for the last few weeks. I’ll show you all the ropes.”

“Few weeks? How long have you been here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He set down his Coke. “I don’t. And I’ve been here eight weeks. The best eight weeks of my fucked-up life.”

“Don’t say that,” she chided. “Surely everything can’t be so terrible.”

He stared at her for a long moment.

“It can be, if you were the reason why a sold-out European tour couldn’t happen, and it cost your backers and buddies tens of millions of dollars, and it pissed off countless thousands of fans.”

Now the greeters took their seats within the circle.

“Couldn’t, or didn’t?” Claire hoped her words were gentle, but when her head split with pain like this she could never tell. “And what do you mean by ‘tour’?”

His eyes narrowed. “Couldn’t. My manager said I’d come back from Europe in a body bag. He’s a bloodsucker but he had enough sense to not kill the golden goose.” He finished his Coke in one long gulp – flexing the tattoos swirling on his forearm and elbow. “And I’m a professional musician – in case you couldn’t guess from the way I look.”

“I see.”

He grinned. “How about that – someone who doesn’t recognize me.”

She folded her hands in her lap, closing her eyes against the pain, so desperately wanting to disappear. “I guess between medical school, and being a surgeon, and my ex-husband…and the pills…there are a lot of things I haven’t paid attention to.”

“Hey.” Softly he reached out to touch her knee – and she looked up at him.

“I’m not making fun of you, Claire. It’s just…I don’t know. Refreshing.”

She smiled tightly.

The facilitator clapped his hands. “Everyone – are we ready?”

People around the circle nodded, and the man sat down in the last empty chair.

“Great. Well, hi everyone. For those of you who don’t know me – I’m Murtagh. Been clean for just about eleven years now. Before that I spent a small fortune that I didn’t have – ”

“ – on enough blow to kill an elephant,” Jamie and several others chorused.

Murtagh smiled. “Wiseasses. Now – today’s topic is: clarity.”

“Can you be more specific?” A heavyset, bearded man across the circle piped up.

“You mean – provide more clarity?” Geneva snickered from somewhere near Jamie.

“Easy,” Murtagh interjected. “And yes, Rupert, of course. What I mean is: something I hear a lot from people here is that being away from substances gives them clarity for the first time in years. Clarity of thoughts – meaning, you’re logical and rational. Clarity of judgment – meaning, you feel like you are empowered to make good decisions. And overall, clarity to step away from all the bullshit that the substances made you do, or made it easier for you to do, and say – damn, what the hell was I doing?”

Across the circle, Rupert nodded. “OK. Oh – hi everyone, I’m Rupert, and I’m an alcoholic. Yeah – I can definitely relate. I wanted to not have clarity, so that I didn’t have to think about how much I was screwing up my job, and my marriage.”

“Good,” Murtagh praised. “And now that you can’t avoid it – how do you feel?”

Rupert stroked his thick beard. “Like shit. I love Scarlet so much, and I fucked it all up. I understand that now.”

“I feel the same way,” Jamie added. “Hi, I'm Jamie, and I'm an alcoholic, too. I drank because I’ve always felt so responsible for everything going on in my band – because I’m the guy that brought us together, and I’m the guy who writes the songs, and I’m the guy who’s across the table from the record company executives, advocating on our behalf.” He bounced a long, thin, jean-clad leg rapidly up and down. “I felt like I was being used, and that I was the only one who cared. I felt that really clearly. So I drank to…to avoid that clarity.”

Claire carefully watched the others around the circle. What Jamie was sharing could make any one of them a quick buck – all it would take was one phone call to a tabloid. But everyone was listening raptly – clearly thinking about parallels in their own lives – and it began to dawn on her that Jamie had one thing she didn’t have much of for herself: respect.

“And then when I drank, I’d just get really mean,” he continued. “I’d say things to rile up my drummer. I had a fling with my manager’s girlfriend, just to fuck with him. And yeah, I’d destroy hotel rooms.”

“Your reaction was to want to hurt people,” Murtagh said gently. “You had had clarity – clarity that you were shouldering too much, for too many people – and you reacted by wanting to push them away.”

“Yeah.” Claire spoke without thinking. “Um – hi everyone, I’m Claire, and I’m addicted to pills. Halcions, mostly.”

“Oh, those are the best,” a woman to Claire’s left remarked.

“Hey – no positive talk,” Murtagh interjected. “You know better than that, Letitia.”

Letitia huffed.

Murtagh turned back to face Claire. “Tell us more, Claire, if you’re comfortable?”

Now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop. “I was – am – a trauma surgeon for an emergency room. I love it – I love the adrenaline of it, and of course being able to help people on the worst day of their lives. I love being able to heal people. But…but it’s pretty heavy stuff. People die, no matter how hard you try to save them. People wake up and they’re not happy that they don’t have a leg anymore – and I say, would you rather be dead?”

“And you wanted to get away from that?” Jamie asked gently.

She closed her eyes. “I had to have clarity to do my job properly – it’s hard to describe, but it’s like having a laser focus on what’s in front of you. Getting in the zone. Shutting out everything else. And then when it’s all done – I would crash. The whole world would come rushing back, and I’d be covered in someone else’s blood and barely able to sit down before I had to work on the next person. That was so, so hard to deal with.”

“I understand.” Claire opened her eyes – it was an older man speaking right next to Jamie. “Hi everyone – I’m Ned, I’m a lawyer and crack addict, and there are a lot of jokes I’m sure you could make based on that.”

Claire managed a small smile.

“I’m a defense attorney – I’m that guy you see on TV arguing in a courtroom and presenting to a jury. I totally get what Claire said, because I needed to have that kind of really focused clarity, too. It was kind of like acting – I had to remember my argument, and I had to present it to the jury, and I had to pick up on cues from them to see how well I was doing. And then afterward I’d just crash. But I still had to have energy to prep for the next day, and that’s where Miss Crack came in.”

“So what I’m hearing is that clarity is something you already had – and then you turn to substances to get away from it.” Murtagh folded his arms. “Because it’s hard to flip that ‘off’ switch. And then eventually, the substances change from being something to take a vacation from that clarity, to completely blocking out that clarity altogether.”

“Exactly.” It was easier for Claire to focus on Murtagh than the sea of faces surrounding her. “And it’s a deliberate choice. I’m sure, Ned and Rupert and Jamie, that you deliberately sought out something to prevent that clarity. I know I did – I wrote the prescriptions for the pills that I consumed.”

Rupert nodded. “The bottle didn’t pick itself up and pour the liquor down my throat. And you’re right, Claire – at first, at least, it was a conscious decision. Until it became something I had to depend on.”

“I think that there are ways for this to happen more positively.” A woman seated beside Rupert quietly spoke. “Oh – hi, everyone, I’m Marsali, and I’m an alcoholic. What I mean is, there are ways to flip that ‘off’ switch that aren’t so…destructive. You can go for a run. Listen to music. Cook a meal. Watch a movie. Make love to your significant other.”

Murtagh nodded. “Marsali brings up a good point here. I’ll repeat something that I’ve already told many of you before, because it bears repeating. Substance addiction is addiction, first and foremost. All of us are here because our brains are hard-wired for addiction. We can’t change that. But we can change what it is that we’re addicted to.”

“Like what?” Letitia had calmed down a bit, but clearly she was skeptical.

“Whatever works for you,” Murtagh shrugged. “Jiu Jitsu. Flower Arranging. Reading. Playing the drums. Writing. Riding motorcycles. Not all addictions are bad – we just need to find the addictions that help us, and don’t hurt us or the people around us.”

Everyone’s heads nodded in agreement, quietly reflecting.

“So – that’s my homework assignment for all of you.” Murtagh pulled a small spiral notebook from his pocket, flipped to a fresh page, and began scribbling in it. “To think about the thing that you can become positively addicted to. Something you already enjoy, or something you’ve never done before. But I hope that even just thinking about it will give you focus. Improve your clarity.”

“Got it,” Ned said quietly.

Murtagh flipped back to an earlier page in his notebook. “Now – I have here my notes from the last time I facilitated Group. OK if I start going around and asking people for follow-up thoughts to those? Rupert?”

Rupert nodded, and began to speak.

“Facilitators take turns hosting Group every fourth day.” Claire started a bit, but held steady as Jamie leaned in close, spoke quietly into her ear. “We talk about things, and we’re assigned homework, and then the next time the facilitator is back we talk about it.”

“Thanks,” Claire murmured.

Jamie didn’t pull away. “If you ever just want to talk…”

She swallowed. “Thanks. I do. I just – it’s a lot to process.”

“It is. But you’ll get there. Talk more at our dinner prep.”

With that he pulled back, and a low buzz settled somewhere between Claire’s ears as the people around her chimed in to the conversation.

[ibelongtowrath]

Private Lessons - Lucifer x Reader

You ask Lucifer for private lessons, deciding to go to his study dressed as a sexy schoolgirl. Let’s see if you learn your lesson.  Warnings/tags: 18+/NSFW, use of a riding crop for spanking, cockwarming. Pairing: Lucifer x Fem!Reader

“Come in.”

Lucifer sighs upon hearing your light knock against the bookcase, waiting for permission to enter the private study. He sets aside the endless stack of documents Diavolo had assigned to him on the desk of his private study, looking at them with disdain. He knows he’ll be up late yet again finishing them, and he can only hope the night is quiet so that he can get some semblance of a restful sleep later.

You had asked for private lessons with the Avatar of Pride, though he couldn’t fathom exactly why. A few months have passed since your arrival into the Devildom, and you seemed to be adjusting well to life here, save for the times you managed to get yourself into trouble, settling into your new routine and seemingly excelling in your classes.

Lucifer had patiently listened to your pleas as you begged him to help prepare you for an upcoming test. Much to his chagrin, he agreed, knowing Diavolo would insist upon the firstborn helping you. Admittedly, the thought of spending time with you outside of R.A.D. and student council meetings was pleasant.

The bookcase creaks upon opening, adding an eerie accent to the otherwise enchanting TSL soundtrack lilting from the speakers behind Lucifer’s desk. He lifts his head upon hearing the sound, accompanied by a strange rhythmic clacking sound. A few seconds later, you step into his view.

The sight before him causes him to drop his most expensive, ornate inking pen, clattering onto the desk and spraying droplets of ink across the shining oak.

“Just what did you think you were going to accomplish by wearing that…outfit, if you can even call it that, to our meeting?” Lucifer growls.

His intense crimson eyes rake over your scantily-clad body in both disdain and interest, unable to deny the appeal. They settle upon your breasts, barely covered by your green R.A.D. uniform shirt that has clearly been altered to a sleeveless, cropped shadow of its former glory. The buttons are mostly undone, your breasts practically spilling out of the top.

Lucifer’s gaze continues to make its way down your body. He studies the expanse of your exposed abdomen before moving to the low-slung, meager excuse of a red plaid skirt that barely covers your backside; your legs adorned by black knee-high socks and patent-leather heeled Mary Janes.

“What are you talking about?” you respond, looking down at yourself, though you are secretly pleased.

“You know exactly what I mean. Do not play dumb with me, dear; I know you are anything but. I am also very curious to hear why you thought it a good idea to defile the R.A.D. uniform shirt in such a way. Even Asmodeus wouldn’t dare do such a thing.”

“It needed some work. Asmo would be proud,” you retort. “So…are we going to get started on the lessons, or are you just going to lecture me about my clothes?”

Lucifer’s eye twitches in response. Internally, he fights a battle between logic and desire, thoughts beginning to cloud over as his gaze falls back to your thighs in that short, short piece of fabric you call a “skirt.”

After a few seconds, a wicked smirk tugs at the corner of his lip. You falter, tugging the hem of your skirt down, unsure of exactly what his look indicates. You tuck a strand of soft hair behind your ear as you await his response.

“That’s right, pet. You are here for a private lesson with me, are you not?” Lucifer purrs. He leans forward on his desk, resting his head on his gloved hands.

“Y-yes...?” you answer, unsure of the implication behind his question.

“Then, perhaps we should get started on that lesson promptly, don’t you think? Why don’t you come closer, my dear? Don’t forget your books, place them on my desk.”

Your heart begins to race, as though someone is in the driver’s seat, slamming the gas pedal to the floor. You purposely wore the outfit to get a rise out of Lucifer, and perhaps something else as well. Now that the opportunity was potentially presented to you, every nerve ending on your body suddenly felt electrified. Your heels click agains the laminated wood as you cross the room, standing before Lucifer’s desk. You place your textbooks on the desk as instructed, hands clasped together in front of you. Lucifer tsks, shaking his head.

“Now, now, darling,” he coos, “I told you to come closer. This won’t do.”

“U-um…,” you stammer. “Okay.”

Nervously traipsing to the side of his desk, you pause, pulling down the hem of your skirt once more. Lucifer grins before reaching for your arm, gently yanking you closer to him until you stand directly next to his chair. The Avatar of Pride tsks and chuckles, looking behind you, studying the floor.

“Shall I punish you for scuffing up the floor with those shoes as well?” he teases. “Well, well...I think I will just have to save that for another private session.”

The mention of a potential punishment, coupled with the close proximity to the demon, causes your legs to tremble slightly. As though he can sense the waves of desire practically rolling off your body, Lucifer smirks, tugging you ever closer. 

His rouge jewel-toned eyes bore into yours; beautiful yet expressionless, the demon lord knows how to maintain a composed facade, even when he is feeling anything but. The sight of your half-naked, scantily-clad body before him has him feeling feral, set on having his way with you. Though, like a feline toying with its prey, he fully intends to make you beg for mercy.

Slowly, not faltering for a single second, Lucifer reaches into the bottom drawer of his desk. He smiles as you watch him pull out a black riding crop, the way your eyes widen in surprise such a delicious feeling, igniting the sadist deep within.

“What’s the matter, pet?” Lucifer drawls. “Surely you have seen one of these before?”

“I have, but...,” your reply trails off, eyes transfixed on Lucifer’s gloved fingers gliding back and forth over the crop.

“A riding crop; its primary intention was for jockeys to whip their horses. They believed that the horses needed encouragement to run faster and win races for their human owners. Many believed it to be unjust and cruel to the animal...”

Lucifer turns the riding crop around, sliding it between your legs and smirking at your whimper. He rubs the tip of it back and forth over your panties, continuing his rhetoric.

“...however, its use has certainly evolved to other, more pleasurable, purposes since that time.”

The accelerator on your desire is now glued to the floor; pedal to the metal, with no intention of stopping. Arousal seeps into your panties as you mewl, the tip of the riding crop teasing you ever-so-slightly as Lucifer remains seemingly calm and collected. After a few more moments of teasing, he pulls the riding crop away from you. He examines the tip of it, feeling smug as he sees your abundant wet excitement decorating the crop deliciously.

“Well, pet, it appears as though I also need to provide you with some encouragement to assist you in the reinforcement of your lessons. Is that right?” Lucifer asks, feeling self-satisfied.

“U-um,” you stutter in response.

Lucifer moves closer to the edge of his seat and, without warning, reaches for your arm; tugging down, he bends you over his knee, folding your body in half over it. Your backside sticks up into the air, the flimsy fabric of your skirt flipped up in the effort. 

His cock twitches at the sight of your panties so openly displayed before him. He tugs at them, essentially ripping them off and discarding them onto the floor as he wraps his fingers around the riding crop, teasing the tip of it over the smooth skin of your now-bare ass.

“The first lesson of your private session that you have so boldy requested, my dear?” Lucifer growls. “Do not play dumb with me.”

He raises the crop up, whipping it hard against your ass. You clench your jaw at the sting, but remain otherwise silent. Once more, you hear the crop slicing through the air, smacking against the soft, sensitive skin; Lucifer relishes at the red mark it leaves behind. 

You hiss this time, unable to hide your reaction to the searing pain. His gloved hand presses against the stinging skin and you hiss again, your eyes focused on the floor; desperate to curl your fingers into something. 

“Have you learned your lesson, darling?” Lucifer hisses, pressing harder into your skin.

“Yes. Y-yes, I have,” you mewl.

“I don’t think you have. Not quite yet.”

Crack! The crop slices through the air once more, making a sharp cracking noise as it makes contact; a sharp contrast to the pleasantly cheerful TSL soundtrack playing in the background.

“N-ngh!” 

Your loud, pain-filled cry reverberates throughout the room. Lucifer’s cock hardens beneath his pants at the sound. He threads his fingers into your hair, gently yanking you back to a standing position next to him.

“There, there. That’s a good girl. Are you ready for your next?” Lucifer asks.

His free hand reaches for his pants, unfastening his belt. Your eyes stare, the stinging pain over your previous punishment almost instantly waning at the thought of his cock sheathed between your walls. Excitement practically dripping down your legs now that your panties are on the floor, you squeeze them together, fighting the urge to sink to your knees and beg Lucifer to have his way with you. 

As though sensing your eagerness, Lucifer’s wicked grin returns; though he hardly has to sense anything, you’re practically foaming at the mouth, more than eager for him to ravage you. His zipper comes undone and he tugs at the hem of his pants, pulling them down just enough that his now-hardened length springs out, enjoying the feral look in your eyes at the sight.

“Your next lesson, pet...”

Releasing his grip on your hair, Lucifer grabs your hips and pulls you in front of him, positioning you over his cock.

“...is not to tempt me, for I guarantee I can exercise much more control.”

As if in punctuation to his sharp words, Lucifer pushes your hips onto him, fully sheathing himself inside your tight, wet heat. A gasping, pleasurable moan escapes from between your lips. He holds back a groan of satisfaction, knowing he has to toy with you before he can have his way with you. His fingers wrap into your hair once more, yanking your head back, his lips whispering into your ear.

“You are going to be a good little pet and keep my cock warm while you study,” he hisses, nipping at your earlobe. “You are not to move around. If you behave, well...good girls earn rewards.”

Lucifer bucks his hips in emphasis, smirking at your surprised yelp.

“And if you think I will be the one to break first, pet, you are sorely mistaken. I have existed on this plane for millennia; it will be quite the cold day in Hell before the Avatar of Pride ever concedes. Now...open your book, and begin your studies. I will inform you when you are finished. Understood?”

“U-understood, Lucifer,” you whimper.

Leaning forward, you gasp, feeling Lucifer’s cock press against your most sensitive spot. You grit your teeth, grasping the Devildom Biology textbook and sliding it towards you as quickly as possible, desperate to get back to an upright position. 

Turning to the chapter on cell structure and healing rituals, you feel your body begin to tremble; your pussy practically quivering, desperate to roll your hips over Lucifer’s cock as he continually slams into you, not sit still between your walls. Lucifer reaches around you to grab his pen, resuming his work for Diavolo. He feels your trembling heat around him and smirks, running a hand along the curve of your waist.

“I do hope you’re studying, pet. You seemed so concerned that you won’t excel on the test,” Lucifer whispers.

Deciding not to dignify his taunt with a response, you furrow your brow, attempting to focus on the words before you, but ultimately failing. Your chest tightens, desire flowing through your veins, through every fiber of your being. It pulses through your heart, pumping into each part of your body.

Fuck this test, you think, sweat practically dripping down your brow. Your eyes slide to Lucifer’s gloved hand to your right, writing notes and signing papers as though carefree; a complete contrast to your state of struggle.

Your eyes skim over the words as you turn the pages, several jumping out at you, seeing the words rather than reading and comprehending them. Every nerve ending in your body feels on fire, especially between your hips. Your clit, the oh-so-sensitive bundle of nerves, aches to be touched as your pussy is stuffed to the brim with the Avatar of Pride’s generously-sized cock. You squirm a bit, biting back a whimper of desperation.

Lucifer mentioned being alive for millennia. It certainly feels as though that much time has passed, an eternity of sitting on his fucking cock. Finally, finally, you reach the end of the chapter, heartbeat pulsing louder through your chest as you close the book slowly in anticipation. Several moments pass by as Lucifer shifts slightly behind you, the movement causing his cock to press into you once more. 

You clap a hand over your mouth to stifle the moan that escapes your lips as he smiles smugly behind you, continuing his work, resolving to push you just a little further. Another eternity passes as your fingers grip the edge of the desk, desperate to hold onto something, anything, to keep your control.

“Well, well, pet...,” Lucifer purrs into your ear, biting and sucking on the lobe. “You did very well. I admit, I am pleasantly surprised. It takes a lot of discipline to exercise such control.”

Lucifer lifts your hips, pulling out of you and smirking as you whimper at the loss.

“Fear not, darling,” he continues. “I did say good girls get rewarded.”

Placing a hand on the small of your back, Lucifer pushes you forward, bending your body over the desk, pinning your wrists behind your back. You turn your head to look at him, desire etched all over your delicate features. He positions himself behind you, teasing his cock at your dripping entrance, relishing the way you whine pleasurably. 

Lucifer thrusts into you roughly, leaning forward and biting your shoulder.

“Now, time for your final task. Show me just how loud you can purr for me, my pet.” 

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 12 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Funsies) 

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

After locking Wei Wuxian into some comically large chains, Wen Chao has him thrown into the dungeon, with an unpleasant surprise.

This Fucking Dog

Being a fan of The Untamed involves occasional second-hand embarrassment, like when they fly on their swords, or the zombies all have the same wig, or a fight sequence moves slower than everybody’s granny. It's ok because each of these things is offset by excellence in acting, story, costumes, weapons, sets, etc.

Then there's this fucking dog. 

The department of questionable practical effects really outdid themselves with this thing. Just seeing this awful creation on screen gives me so much cringe squick I can barely look at it. But for you, dear readers, I FORCED MY EYEBALLS to watch the entire dog sequence OVER AND OVER. Then I applied some brightness adjustments and looked at it EVEN MORE. 

Let's get desensitized! I’m going all in on this monstrosity.

First, this dog does not ever move its body or its feet. Its legs are totally immobile. It appears to be made of a big sawhorse with a stick for the neck. The head swings up and down and side to side. That’s it.  

“Animatronic” is too generous of a term for this thing. The animatronics at Chucky Cheese learned to play musical instruments and host birthday parties decades ago. This dog cannot play an instrument and it has to wait for Wei Wuxian to walk over to it before it can attack him. 

When it falls over after Wen Ning K.O’s it, it’s like a chair falling over. It just topples to the side, legs sticking straight out.  

(more after the cut)

Next, It has a mouth full of teeth, which opens and closes. And it has drool the texture of Astroglide Extra-Thick Gel. But...no tongue.

Seriously you guys, it literally does not have a tongue. They just sculpted a little bump at the at the bottom of its mouth, despite dogs being known for, like, lolling their tongues out of their mouths at every opportunity.

Moving along, it has dull, lifeless eyes, and its eyelids are visibly disconnected from the rest of its head, like a doll that mechanically shuts its eyes when you lay it down to sleep.

Finally, its fur looks like a fucking muppet, and it has random shiny spots all around its eyes and lips. These are probably supposed to be body fluids of some kind, but they just look like someone was careless with the cra-z-glue.

Xiao Zhan gamely tries to act opposite this ridiculous fail prop, but there is nothing remotely scary about it.  

Here is Wei Wuxian being scared. I replaced the animatronic dog with a reversed clip of my dog Pepper asking for a piece of cheese, and I think it looks more convincing this way. 

Ok, let's be done with this stupid fucking dog. Wen Ning knocks it out, Wen Chao criticizes it in the morning, and nobody ever speaks of it again. 

Wei Wuxian is so mortified to have endured this farce that when Lan Wangji asks him, much later, “why are you afraid of dogs?” he does not say “don’t you remember that time I got chewed on by a giant animatronic dog at Wen Chao’s place?” but instead pretends that this never fucking happened. 

Wen Ning to the Rescue

For contrast, the next dungeon scene is a really touching and important encounter between Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian. 

Wen Ning comes and knocks out the creature, and gives Wei Wuxian medicine. 

Wen Ning is doing this in defiance of his clan and his sister, simply because Wei Wuxian is his friend. Yes, he feels indebted, but Wen Qing saved WWX’s life once, so the tally is already even. Wen Ning is just super attached to Wei Wuxian, and vice versa; WWX calls him Wen-Xiong in this scene. 

When Wen Ning explains how to use the medicine, Wei Wuxian changes the subject to ask how WN and his sister are doing. He is bleeding, chained up, high on adrenaline and fear, and what he really wants is to hear how his friends are doing. When Wen Ning talks about Wen Qing’s troubles, Wei Wuxian wishes she would accept help, instead of always going it alone. 

Wei Wuxian thanks Wen Ning formally, and tells him no words can express his gratitude. Whether this is a literally correct translation, the gratitude both of these young men feel toward each other transcends words. It will become a driving force in both of their lives as they save each other from increasingly awful situations. 

Wen Ning tells Wei Wuxian about the burning of Cloud Recesses....the burning of the half we never visit. It would suck to damage that exquisite set, so I’m ok with that production choice, but creates some cognitive dissonance when characters get upset about the fire. 

Wei Wuxian reacts to the news of Lan Wangji’s injury by punching the concrete floor of the dungeon, which is dumb but also highly relatable. 

After Wen Ning leaves, Wei Wuxian decides to save the medicine for Lan Wangji, who might not even need it, while WWX is bleeding right now and definitely needs it. No matter how bad things are for him personally, Wei Wuxian is always thinking about ways to help the people he loves, and constantly seeing his own needs as less important than everybody else’s. 

Breakfast Time

After his night of terror and maiming, Wei Wuxian emerges as chipper as ever. Almost like he is already an expert at hiding his trauma from the people close to him. 

Lan Wangji gives him a careful look, taking in the sight of his ripped clothes and bloody neck and hands. 

Jiang Cheng is angry at Wei Wuxian for joking about his injuries, so he shoves him, potentially causing more injuries. 

Wei Wuxian laughs off the signs of torture and attempted murder and everyone goes along with it. Nobody knows what happened to him other than "dungeon" and what he looks like right now, and they’re all just like, okey dokey, I guess you’re fine.  

He’ll carefully laugh off his months in the burial mounds in the same way, later, and Jiang Cheng will accept it nearly as readily as he accepts this. But by that time Lan Wangji will see right through him.

Nie Huaisang mentions the Lan Clan in the course of discussing breakfast, and then everyone pauses awkwardly because they know that mentioning this will make Lan Wangji think about the recent attack on his home and the deaths of many of his fellow disciples. Whereas if nobody had mentioned it, he totally wouldn't think about it. That's how grief works, right?

Insult to Injury

Wen Chao decides to spend some time gloating about battles and insulting people's families, which he does with Wen Qing standing behind his eyeline so that she can warn Wei Wuxian not to let his brother go off. 

Jiang Cheng is not going to let anybody who isn't his mother insult his father like that, but in a reversal of their normal roles, Wei Wuxian restrains him and helps keep him from doing something rash.

Monster Hunting

Wen Chao makes everyone read out loud until Nie Huaisang wisely faints and gets carried off. Then he gathers everyone for a monster hunt.  It's unclear why he wants to go monster hunting but he sure does, and bringing the hostages along might make them all die, which would be a nice bonus.

The cultivators wander around en masse in a small section of forest, thoroughly covering every inch of it. This is a great way to hunt for a dead body but not so good for living prey. 

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng stand around like bitchy queens at a dance club, talking smack about Wen Chao and his girlfriend. 

Wei Wuxian brings out a salty phrase and Jiang Cheng wonders what websites he's been going to. 

Dude. Lighten up.

Leave that Boy Alone

Wei Wuxian notices Lan Wangji struggling, and now that he knows the backstory, he's determined to help. Jiang Cheng is determined to stop him.

This is, once again, the fundamental disagreement between the brothers, and it's never going to be solvable. Jiang Cheng's specific dislike of Lan Wangji may be rooted in jealousy, but his belief in not helping outsiders runs a lot deeper than that.

For Wei Wuxian, there is no such thing as having helped enough. If someone is his friend, he will never stop helping them, and he has a lot of friends, and makes new ones wherever he goes. He's always going to be giving something of himself, to the detriment of any conflicting obligations. 

Jiang Cheng tells him that Lan Wangji won't accept his help, and Wei Wuxian says that's not the point. 

What other people think, want, say, or do, is not going to have any effect on whether Wei Wuxian does what he feels is right. This is a bit of a problem where a person's right to self-determination conflicts with Wei Wuxian's need to help them, as Jiang Cheng will eventually discover.

Jiang Cheng's least effective argument is the one he relies on most often when they disagree: other people's problems are not our responsibility. He's saying this to an orphan who was eating trash and stealing scraps from dogs before Jiang Fengmian came into his life. 

Jiang Cheng doesn’t seem to realize the underlying logic of this argument. If it's wrong for Wei Wuxian to help the people he cares about, it was also wrong for Jiang Fengmian to help Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian and would willingly die for him, but he, like his mother, rejects the philosophy that brought them together in the first place.  

Wei Wuxian walks away from an upset and shocked Jiang Cheng to offer a piggyback ride to Lan Wangji.

...who won't accept it, but who will remember the offer forever.

Writing prompt: Thoughts of an animatronic dog

Soundtrack:  Five Nights at Freddy’s by The Living Tombstone

[rainydawgradioblog]

YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE!!!!

Listen, listen, listen… I know it has been a while, but here I am with so so so many good things to talk about. So many good songs have been bestowed upon us all and here I am to tell you just how I feel about it. Consider this my journal, where nothing I say can be wrong.

You cannot even be mad at me because I am coming to you with great news, for me personally. That is, that I had myself a hot date with none other than the perfect cosmic angel Faye Webster. What a show that woman can put on. Her opener was nothing short of amazing, Kate Bollinger has most definitely gained a fan or two since Monday evening. Faye’s stage presence in very chill, which is expected from her overall look and music genre and sound, but she does make sure that the crowd is having fun. Towards the end of her hour and a half set she not only covered an Animal Crossing song, which happened to inspire her most recent (amazing) album I Know I’m Funny, haha, but also brought up a very skilled yoyo-er (if that is how you say it), to do some crazy tricks while she stood off to the side dancing and laughing. I say this for just about everyone I see live, but her voice and stage presence make her sound ten times better. If you had the chance to go to the show, I hope you had as good a time as I did, especially if you got into the bar. If you have not heard of Faye Webster, I am here to guide you to her, this is my job. Faye is an indie-folk singer from Atlanta, Georgia who has incredibly relatable and sad lyrics that win me over with a very soft and unique voice.

Now that I have bragged about one of the best shows I have seen recently (which there have been several and none have come close to Miss Faye), let me get into the juice, what I have been waiting to talk about since February 9th.

As we all know, (maybe you don’t, or maybe you aren’t the TV watching type, or you skip for personal reasons) Euphoria’s second season came out. I know exactly what you’re thinking “Abbegayle, this is a music blog, why are you mentioning a TV show?” And to that I will say, I know. If there is one thing I like, it is a good soundtrack to a show or movie. I think we can all agree (those of us who have seen the show) that Labyrinth absolutely killed the first season's soundtrack. Hit an absolute homerun. However this season, so far, has had an outstanding soundtrack outside of what Labrinth wrote for this season, which is also amazing, don’t get me wrong. I know, from looking through twitter, that I am not the only one who has added nearly every song from every episode I have watched thus far. I think we can all agree that the first episode alone set the stage for the entire show, and that is what I love about soundtracks. The first episode started with "Don’t Be Cruel" by Billy Swan to a grandma walking into a strip club and absolutely f****** s*** up, which was the most amazing opening scene I have seen in a long time. The first episode also included "Hit ‘Em Up" by Tupac, "Right Down the Line" by Gerry Rafferty, "Dirty Work" by Steely Dan, and "Dead of Night" by Orville Peck (which the crowd went wild for). The second episode came with some notable mentions as well which include "Haunted" by Laura Les and "She Brings the Rain" by CAN. There are two more episodes left in the season, which is insane. We have almost made it through the roller coaster ride that is an entire season of Euphoria in real-time (instead of binging it like we all wished we could). I will be back soon to talk about more concerts and more albums, Mitski’s specifically wink wink. Until then, my fellow dawgs, I miss you, I love you, good luck on midterms, listen to good music, and watch Euphoria.

Peace out girlscouts, gayscouts, and theyscouts,

abbegayle

[smutbymia]

Can I request a smut where y/n is Jaehyun's ex and they become successful by their own.One day they met at an award show or red carpet or something and Jaehyun just regret it.Thankyou 😚

Jaehyun stood with his group members in a line, posing for the flashing lights that shuttered from the dozens of cameras lined up behind the barricade in front of them. They were styled to perfection for the night, in preparation for their red carpet appearance at the Oscars. After participating in the soundtrack of a nominated film, the boys of NCT 127 found themselves attending the most prestigious film event of the year -- something they hadn’t thought they’d ever get the opportunity to do. 

They each had smiles plastered across their faces as they slowly shifted their gazes across the sea of photographers, moving from section to section on the carpet alternating between photo-ops and quick interviews with the press.

Jaehyun tugged at the front of his black tuxedo and straightened his bow tie while standing tall as Johnny chatted away with an interviewer just as he heard commotion at the other end of the carpet. He watched out of the corner of his eye when the photographers seemed to move in the same direction of the excitement.

Jaehyun shrugged it off, still trying his hardest to continue focusing on his groups interview. It wasn’t until he heard the voice of a photographer shout your name that his entire demeanour finally shifted. The cool, calm, collected image he had upheld all night began to falter. He watched as Mark — who was stood on the opposite end of the line lifted his gaze to peer discretely past Jaehyun’s head in your direction after clearly hearing your name as well. His eyes met Jaehyuns as he gave him a warning look. A look that told him to keep it together because there were millions of people at home watching through the cameras that were capturing every moment in real time, and broadcasting live across the world. 

Jaehyun tried his best, he really did. But he couldn’t resist any longer. He turned his head to look back at you. You stood on the marked spot of the runway in front of the cameras in a floor length white gown that made you look as though you had stepped out of Heaven itself. Your leg dangled out from in between the slit of the stress and your hair cascaded down your back. You took your position before alternating between a series of poses as you worked the cameras. Compliments spilled out from behind the cameras as paparazzi bombarded you with instructions on where to look -- to the right, to the left, up high for the ones in the back row, etc. 

As you shifted your gaze to a different section of photographers you mistakenly met Jaehyun’s own. The two of you locked eyes — with you pulling away at first, completely taken aback by your exes presence. Jaehyun however kept his gaze on you and continued watching intently as you worked the red carpet.

“Jaehyun?” the reporter called, as her voice interrupted his thoughts of you.

“H-huh? I’m sorry!” he said before flashing a dimpled smile and making the interviewer melt, “there’s just so much going on. The red carpet is so exciting!” he chuckled, and just like that he was in the clear — sort of. The interview wrapped up shortly after and all was well before the rest of the members gave him a knowing look once the cameras were no longer rolling. 

Jaehyun sighed deeply, glancing back at you once more as he admired your bright smile that was on full display during an interview. He missed you, he thought to himself. 

You had dated for a few months before you decided to move to LA. Originally the plan was to stay in Korea and settle down with Jaehyun but after he failed to uphold the promises he had made about finally going public with your relationship you decided that you couldn’t put your life on hold anymore for him. No one, especially you, deserved to be somebody else’s  secret. 

You moved out to LA and pursued acting. In just a few years you had finally worked your way up in the industry and were notorious for playing lead roles in indie films by some of the best directors in Hollywood who had grown tired of casting the more well known stars. Ironically that is what had turned you into a household name — as you completely found your niche within the genre.

But how did it feel seeing the boy you were more than willing to give up on your dreams for? Surprisingly you were okay. It hadn’t been easy and you needed to work through a lot of your issues over the years to get to a place where your pain and resentment towards your ex no longer consumed you. Being in such close proximity with your ex and feeling confident was certainly an improvement, you thought to yourself. 

Besides, you had found your own footing in the world and your own level of success as well. Though you both were famous celebrities, you both existed in two different worlds that rarely met -- until now. Maybe it was inevitable that one day the two of you would cross paths again. 

You blew through your interviews as others arrived on the carpet and within minutes were being ushered into the theatre by staff who were working on seating guests for the award show. You stood aimlessly by the open bar in the waiting area as your manager chattered away with the publicist of some other up and coming celebrity. 

You raised your hand gracefully to wave down a bartender who seemed to fail to notice your efforts at grabbing his attention. You sighed deeply before giving up and dropping your hand back down against the cool counter of the bar in defeat. You were hoping to get a few drinks in your system before having to sit through yet another boring ceremony. Suddenly you felt the presence of a large body behind you. You titled your head upwards to the arm that was raised high above you as the bartender finally walked over in your direction. 

“How can I help you two?” he asked. Flustered, you tripped over your words as you turned around, coming face to face with Jaehyun who seemed to be staring directly into your soul. You froze, and watched as he turned to speak to the bartender. Within minutes, two identical cocktails were slid across the counter. You sighed as you watched jaehyuns slender fingers wrap around the base of his glass as you mirrored his action.

Just then a photographer approached the two of you inquiring about a photo op. You smiled sheepishly as onlookers directed their attention to you. It’s not like you could refuse. Not on a night like this. It would look terrible on your part. So instead you stepped closer to Jaehyun and though he hesitated slightly, you felt his hand rest on the small of your back.

You offered up a sheepish smile as he remained stoned face as he usually did in pictures at events like this. After a few clicks and a few extra stares the photographer moved on. Jaehyuns members lingered by as they tried not to make it too obvious how surprised they were at the interaction. Once it was over they swooped in almost immediately.

Many of them offered you quick greetings but it was Mark who lingered to speak with you as they managed to create some distance between you and Jaehyun.

He spoke quickly and quietly. From the perspective of outsiders it looked like harmless mingling but his words carried weight.

“We can all tell that he misses you a lot, y/n. But we’ll do our best to make sure he doesn’t get in your way anymore,” he stated. Your heart froze at the new revelation.

You opened your mouth, hesitating a little before you spoke. “It’s okay,” you began, “it was a long time ago. I’m okay. You don’t have to coddle me.”

It was true that Mark had a tendency to get that way. Him and Johnny knew better than anyone else what had happened between you and Jaehyun and the two scolded him every chance they could get about the way your relationship turned out. They were all your friends before the romance between you and Jaehyun blossomed.

“It’s not you that we are trying to protect this time,” Mark confessed, “to be honest, it’s Jaehyun. He took it hard. Even though he knew it was his fault he suffered a lot and is full of regrets. We know you’re doing well now but... he hasn’t really been the same.”

You looked over Marks shoulder and locked eyes with Jaehyun who was engaged in what seemed like a deep conversation with Johnny that you were sure must have been similar to the one Mark was having with you right now.

His expression was downcast, yet stern. He seemed bothered by what he was hearing. You were almost certain Johnny was telling him to keep his distance from you but you couldn’t help the feeling in your heart... a feeling that made you wish you could hear these things directly from him instead.

The rest of the night proceeded accordingly though you couldn’t shake the feeling in your stomach. Good thing you were an actress because between presenting and carrying home your first award, you needed to really sell the fact that tonight was the best night of your life despite the fact that you were hurting a bit inside.

Next was the after party and yes, it was intense. Drug and alcohol fueled events were a regular occurrence in Hollywood and soon enough everyone was under the influence of something. There was a reason it was kept in the most exclusive hotel in the city and that reason was because people usually got so fucked up that the convenience of being able to be one elevator ride away from their beds was a complete blessing.

You called it a night quite early. You drank congratulatory drink after drink and decided that it was far better to leave while you could still somewhat see clearly. You had made your excuses and encouraged your team to stay around to party as you went back up to your room alone to get ready for bed.

You were all changed into a silk nightgown when there was a knock at the door. Figuring it was just room service, you went ahead and opened it up but to your surprise Jaehyun stood there alone. He leaned against the door frame with a half empty bottle of wine in his fist as his head hung low.

“Congratulations on your award,” he slurred as he held the bottle out to you. You were in complete shock. You poked your head past the door, hoping no one had seen him standing there. You planned on telling him to leave when you heard the dinging of the elevators bell as voices rang out down the hall. In a moment of pure panic you quickly dragged him by the collar of his coat into the room and slammed the door shut behind the two of you.

Jaehyun giggled. “Do you miss me that much?” He asked as he reached for your waist. Locking you in his embrace.

“Jaehyun are you crazy? You can’t just show up at my door like that. Lots of people are staying on this floor. Someone could have seen!” you scolded.

He placed the bottle down on a piece of furniture before putting the palm of his hand to your cheek.

“I’ve always been crazy haven’t I? Who would have thought it would be you wanting to keep us from being seen... after all this time,” he said as his voice dropped.

Your breathing became laboured as his eyes gazed deeply into yours.

“I’m so sorry. I should have never kept you a secret,” he confessed. “I regret trying to hide you from the world. Now that they get to see you, they get to love you too. Everyone who gets the pleasure of getting to know you always ends up loving you, don’t they?” he asked. He offered up a weak smile as the dimples in his cheeks went on full display again.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say,” you answered. You covered his hands with yours as you drew it away from your face. You could see the sadness return to his expression.

Jaehyun blinked a few times. “Ah, I think getting so emotional just sobered me up a bit,” he winced as you watched his cheeks begin to blush.

“Mark and Johnny are going to be really upset with me when they find out that I came up here. I’m sure they already know by now,” he said. Jaehyun still held you in his grasp. You attempted to pull away but he refused to let you go.

“Please...” he pleaded as he felt you try to put distance between the two of you “please, y/n. Let me at least hold you for a little bit longer.”

He let out a deep sigh before engulfing you in a hug. You hesitated before wrapping your arms around his neck and could feel him relaxing under your touch instantly. Jaehyuns hands ran down the small of your back and grabbed at your waist as you could feel the desperation and yearning in his touch.

What was only a hug started to feel more intimate. Before you could stop yourself, you felt your hands yearning for more of him too. You ran one of your hands up the nape of his neck and into his hair as he burried his face into your neck — the warmth of his breath on your skin sending tingles down your spine. Your back arched slightly in response, causing your chest to press into his.

Jaehyuns hands travelled a bit lower, resting dangerously close to your butt and it was enough to draw a reaction from you. You sucked in air between your lips, before letting out a soft gasp. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. You cursed yourself for falling into his trap so quickly but his energy was intoxicating.

Jaehyuns lips brushed lightly against your neck before you felt him press them against your skin, giving you soft kisses on the delicate flesh. Your breathing became heavier. You made no effort to stop him. Your body reacted on its own as you titled your head to give him more access to you.

“Good girl,” he encouraged softly as he alternated between soft kisses and the dragging of his tongue up towards your ear. You whimpered as you felt yourself officially cave. There was no way you could stop now. Not when it had been so long since you last felt like this.

He dragged his teeth back across your skin, nipping softly at the flash before dropping one his hands to palm your ass. You let out a soft moan in response as you felt his hardness grow against your stomach. Jaehyun lifted his head away from you before locking you in his gaze once more. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes scanned your face.

You watched him through hooded eyes, with your cheeks flushed red as he leaned in to capture your mouth in a deep and passionate kiss. You moaned against his mouth as his tongue forced itself past your lips. You suckled softly on his tongue as his hands explored the rest of your body.

This time you took the lead, deepening the kiss and dragging him with you back towards the bed in your hotel room. You pushed off his coat and tugged at the buttons of his shirt as you continued to move backwards. When you felt the duvet covers on the back of your legs you sunk down into the mattress pulling him towards you as you moved to unbotton his pants, keeping your eyes firmly locked with his.

Once he was free he discarded the rest of his clothing with ease. Jaehyun stood before you, panting softly, naked body on full display as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Fuck...” you sighed. You could feel your nipples harden underneath the fabric of your nightgown while you tried your hardest to stop your eyes from wandering again.

Jaehyun’s lips turned up at the corners for what seemed like a mere second before his gaze went dark again. He stepped forward and reached for your face to run his thumb against your bottom lip. You couldn’t stop yourself from allowing your mouth to fall open slightly, inviting his finger to slip past your lips and across your tongue.

You suckled softly. Jaehyun used his other hand to slide the straps of your nightgown off your shoulders one by one. Your eyes never left his while you felt the fabric fall to your waist, leaving you topless. You stood up, mouth still full and eyes still locked to let it fall to your feet, leaving you naked.

Jaehyun’s free hand immediately grabbed at your waist, pulling you closer to his body and with a pop he removed his thumb from your mouth, replacing it with more fingers before finally switching to a kiss. Your tongue danced around his eagerly.

You jumped at the feeling of jaehyuns damp fingers against your clit as he wasted no time prepping you. Moaning against his lips, the two of you moved back towards the bed — this time, with Jaehyun settling in between your legs.

“Forgive me,” he said quietly. Your chest rose and fell with each passing second as you waited for him to speak again — fingers still brushing against your clit as you moaned quietly.

“I ruined everything. But, I want to make it up to you. Even if it’s just this once. Even if it’s the last chance I get. So be good for me, okay? Just for a little while longer” he said as he lowered himself to your core.

You were a writhing mess as you waited for his tongue to finally connect with your flesh and when it did... fireworks.

Maybe it had been too long or maybe he just knew your body better than anyone else but within seconds you could feel yourself getting closer to your peak. Jaehyun flattened his tongue against your lips, running it up and down your slit at a sensual pace. It was so good, but not nearly enough. He was teasing you and pleasing you all at once.

On occasion he would flick himself against your clit, watching as your body convulsed at the contact before pulling away again and watching you slowly get further away from your orgasm once more.

“M-more, please,” you begged as you reached your hands between your legs to rope in jaehyuns hair. He continued to work at your core before lifting his head slightly. You raised your hips to chase after him, not wanting to lose contact, as he chuckled to himself softly.

“I’m being rude, aren’t I?” he taunted as he teasingly ran two fingers down your slit, coating them in your juices. You groaned as you watched him put both fingers in his mouth, humming to himself.

“I can’t help it. You taste so good, I don’t want to rush,” he murmured.

“Baby, please” you cooed. Jaehyun froze momentarily.

It was a low blow. You knew calling him the pet name would bring him into a more submissive state but you were desperate at this point. You could feel the shift in the power dynamic as you used the hand you roped in his thick locks to pull him back down to your center.

“You said you wanted to make it up to me. I want to cum all over this pretty mouth, baby” you said. Jaehyun’s mouth hung open as he watched you in what seemed like a daze as he nodded softly before returning to what he had been doing before.

This time there was no teasing. He went immediately to your clit — lips engulfing the soft bud as he lapped at the flesh. You couldn’t resist wrapping your legs around him, slightly squeezing his head with your thighs to resist the intense amount of pleasure you were feeling.

You moaned as he forced your legs back open again, giving you no choice but to accept exactly what it is you had asked him for. Despite submitting to you so easily, he refused to let you off the hook.

Jaehyun slipped two fingers past your entrance and pumped them vigorously in and out of you as he sucked your clit into his mouth, releasing it with a pop before repeating his actions.

“Let me taste you. Cum for me,” he urged.

Just then, you granted him his wish as your back arched off of the bed and you felt your orgasm wash over you. Jaehyun didn’t let up. He continued to pump at your core without interrupting as he lapped away at your juices.

“Fuck, you’re dripping. I have to feel this,” he said. You continued to convulse under his touch as you let his name slip from your lips over and over again.

You felt his fingers retreat as he ran the head of his cock up and down your slit, making you shutter each time he brushed against your sensitive clit.

You only had a few minutes of rest before he was inching himself into you slowly before finally bottoming out. You moaned, still sensitive from your first orgasm as he began thrusting. He started off slowly, savouring the feeling of sliding in and out of you until he was balls deep inside of you again each time.

He layed on top of you, with his head burried in your neck as he snapped his hips forward over and over again. Soon it was just too much. The both of you seemed to have forgotten where you were because the way he moved and the way your voices filled the room made it seem as though you were the last two people left on earth.

“I’m going to —“ he tried to warn as his words were interrupted by his own moan. His pace got slower as he continued to bury himself into you over and over again.

You pulled his face to yours into a final kiss as you worked your hips against his. Your lips parted along with jaehyun’s as your kiss broke. They brushed against each other as you refused to pull away completely just as you both reached your peaks together. His warmth filled you up as you both panted. Your bliss was short lived when you heard loud and violent knocks on the hotel room door followed by muffled voices.

“Are you guys insane? You’re so lucky the party is at its peak right now because we could literally hear you from the end of the hall!” Mark said as the knocking continued.

“Jaehyun, I swear to God if you aren’t out here in three seconds!” He continued.

The two of you frantically pulled your clothing back on before you threw the door open. Mark looked the two of you up and down.

“Johnny is holding the elevator so no one else can get up here. We gotta go. Oh and congrats by the way,” he said before turning on his heels and making his way towards the elevator.

Jaehyun quickly pulled your face into his hands for a kiss, promising to call you soon before Johnny yelled for him to “get the hell into the lift!” and just like that they were gone again and you were left with a feeling that you couldn’t really describe �� but still a peaceful one, nonetheless. You closed your hotel door finally letting your fingers flutter across your lips as they broke into a soft smile.

[sickficsforthesoul]

Here is a second prompt!

Epileptic Suga having a seizure for the first time in front of the first years, maybe in a tougher situation to handle like a bus ride 👀

:)

-Lu

This one took me a little while, but it's done now, so enjoy! As mentioned in a prior post, this fic is part of the Setter Health Conditions (SHC) universe, so it might be referenced in other fics taking place in the universe. (Fun fact, this fic was originally titled "Into the Sugaverse" before I edited the title to be less cryptic.)

That One Bus Trip

Epileptic Suga with caretaker Daichi

Word count: 3447 words

Daichi was stressed. That wasn’t a new thing, though. With three siblings and two very busy parents, Daichi’s life was near-constant chaos. Though right now, the current cause of Daichi’s stress was sitting right next to him. Suga was curled up against Daichi on the bus seat. They were driving home from a weekend training camp in Tokyo. It was only early evening, but Suga looked quite sleepy leaning against Daichi’s arm.

“Are you okay, Suga?” Daichi asked quietly. They were seated near the back of the bus to keep an eye on everyone. The first years sat in the row in front of Daichi and Suga, and Daichi didn’t want to broadcast Suga’s private business to them (or anyone else on the bus, for that matter).

“Yeah,” Suga groaned as he shifted against Daichi’s arm. “Just feeling kind of off, ya know?”

Daichi’s eyes widened in alarm. “What kind of “off,” Suga? Like off off?”

“Off off,” Suga agreed, pressing the side of his face into Daichi’s club jacket.

“Do you want me to get someone?” Daichi muttered urgently.

This wasn’t good. Feeling off off was how Suga liked to refer to having an aura, and an aura meant a seizure was coming soon. And to make matters worse, they were on a bus, hours away from home. If Suga had a seizure now, it would be chaos. Everyone would panic because only Daich, Asahi, and Mr. Takeda knew about Suga’s epilepsy (Daichi wasn’t sure if Coach Ukai knew, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Suga never mentioned his condition. Suga was very shy about sharing his epilepsy with others. It had taken Daichi and Asahi cornering a first year Suga in the locker room after a particularly long practice to get Suga to tell them anything, and they were some of Suga’s closest friends.)

“No,” Suga murmured. “I have my medication. I’ll take it, so hopefully, things won’t get too bad.”

Suga leaned forward and rummaged through the bag at his feet, producing a medicine bottle seconds later. Daichi grabbed a water bottle from his own bag and presented it to Suga, who took it gratefully. Suga shook out one pill from the bottle and swallowed it down with a gulp of water. He handed the bottle back to Daichi and bent down to his bag again.

Daichi turned to his bag to distract himself from all the possible futures flashing through his mind. Even though Suga had taken his medication, that didn’t guarantee nothing would happen. Similar to migraine prevention medication, Suga’s medicine only worked some of the time. Daichi was praying to every deity in existence that it would work this time because he hated Suga seizing in any circumstance, but especially on a bus with their loud, emotional teammates. Suga didn’t seem too panicked on the surface, but Daichi was keenly aware of the setter’s clenched hands and furrowed brow. Suga was worried too, but he was far too prideful to ever tell anyone directly.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Daichi ordered, voice low to keep their conversation discreet.

“Okay,” Suga yawned, “I think I’m gonna take a nap. This medicine always makes me drowsy.”

“Alright,” Daichi nodded slightly. “Just try to stay calm. Getting worked up will only make everything worse.”

“I know, Daichi,” Suga huffed good-naturedly. “I’ve been dealing with this for years. I think I know how to take care of myself.”

Daich chuckled and patted Suga’s head with his free hand. “I know, I know. But I’m still worried, you know. I’m your best friend and your captain. I think I have the right to worry about you sometimes.”

“You’re such a dad, Daichi,” Suga snickered mischievously. “Dad... Daichi… Oh! Dadchi! From now on, I’m gonna call you Dadchi.”

Daichi sighed wearily. “How can you be so responsible one minute and then so childish the next?”

“It’s a gift,” Suga smiled goofily. Then a yawn escaped his mouth, and he blinked slowly.

“Take a nap, Suga,” Daichi said, slipping off his jacket to drape over the setter. “You’re tired, and it’ll make you feel better.”

Suga hummed in agreement, leaning against Daichi’s side and snuggling under the jacket. He sighed contently and closed his eyes. Within minutes, Suga was sleeping comfortably against Daichi’s shoulder. Daichi smiled at the sight, silently resigning himself to being Suga’s pillow for the rest of the bus ride. They still had over three hours left until they reached Karasuno High School, so Daichi was hoping Suga would be able to take a good, long nap until they arrived.

With Suga sleeping soundly, Daichi could finally relax. He gazed out the window at the setting sun, admiring the beautiful colors as the sun disappeared from the sky. Suga’s body was warm, Daichi noticed. Not feverish, but warm enough to keep Daichi’s body pleasantly warm as well. The bus was also fairly quiet. Most of their teammates were either reading or playing video games (even Kageyama was attempting to work a DS after Hinata’s incessant nagging). After two days of grueling training, Daichi’s body was begging for a break, and between the warmth and quiet murmurings of his teammates, Daichi felt himself nodding off too. His head drooped against Suga’s, and Daichi was asleep almost instantly.

X

When Daichi awoke, he noticed light flashing through the very dark bus. Lifting his head drowsily, Daichi quickly found the light source. Someone (probably Tanaka or Noya) had brought a portable DVD player onto the bus, and everyone (minus Suga, Daichi, and Asahi, who had donned an eyemask and fell asleep sometime after Daichi had) was gathered around it watching a movie of some sort.

Daichi yawned and pulled out his phone. He sent a quick text to Ennoshita asking about what movie they were watching. Ennoshita replied with the title (“Into the Spider-Verse,” apparently) along with what he’d missed so far. The movie was only a third of the way done, so Daichi hadn’t missed too much. Suga was still sleeping soundly, so Daichi didn’t dare move. He couldn’t see the movie, but that was fine so long as Suga was asleep and calm.

Suga continued to sleep for another half hour at least while Daichi ignored the DVD player in favor of looking at his phone. During that time, Ennoshita texted frequent updates on the movie, summarizing the plot, characters, and visuals with stunning clarity. Daichi would occasionally see some bright flashes of light, but he was too focused on his phone to register the problem the lights might pose. Daichi was snickering at the reveal of Doctor Octavius when Suga stirred next to him.

“You’re up, huh?” Daichi murmured to a drowsy Suga.

“Yeah…” Suga yawned, eyes still shut.

“Are you feeling better?” Daichi asked gently.

“A little, yeah,” Suga hummed, shifting to a sitting position and cracking open his eyes.

“That’s good, at least,” Daichi smiled, reaching over to grab his jacket from Suga’s lap.

“I guess,” Suga sighed, his brown eyes still half-lidded with exhaustion. “What’s going on?”

“We’re watching a movie. Into the Spider-Verse, apparently.” Daichi lifted his phone to show Suga the screen. “Ennoshita’s been keeping me updated. He’s actually pretty good at it too.”

Suga grabbed the phone and scrolled to the beginning of Ennoshita’s recent texts. He took a moment to read before handing the phone back to Daichi. “You’re right. He is pretty good. Is the movie still on?”

“Yes,” Daichi nodded, “The DVD player’s in the aisle. We can watch it if we move over a little.”

“Let’s watch it,” Suga replied. “It’s not like we have anything better to do right now.”

“Okay,” Daichi agreed easily, sliding over into the aisle to watch the movie. Suga moved too, taking Daichi’s now-vacant seat.

They settled down to watch the movie without much trouble. The occasional bright flash made Suga wince and turn away for a moment, but the instances were infrequent, so Daichi didn’t think much of them. Suga seemed to be enjoying the movie too. He laughed at the jokes and fawned over the action sequences. Daichi wasn’t surprised. He’d known about Suga’s nerdy side for a while now.

To be fair, Daichi was also enjoying the movie. The soundtrack and animation were very well done, and Daichi was always a sucker for action movies. Perhaps that was why Daichi forgot about the danger the movie could pose to Suga. Daichi was so absorbed in the movie that he failed to notice Suga’s furrowed brows and rapidly paling face. The final straw for Suga’s fragile health was the collider scene. The frantic, aggressive flashes of light sent Suga’s body headfirst into an epileptic episode.

At first, Daichi thought Suga was just shivering. Small trembles wracked Suga’s frame, but when the trembles grew stronger and more sporadic, Daichi became concerned. Turning away from the DVD player, he squinted through the dark at his best friend, and what Daichi saw was horrible. Suga’s body spasmed erratically while Suga’s eyes were blown wide with panic and distress. Tears slipped down Suga’s cheeks as a soft whine escaped his mouth. Suga’s eyes settled on Daichi, silently begging for help.

Daichi was panicking, but Suga needed him, so he had to focus. Daichi quickly wrapped his jacket around Suga’s head and neck, creating a cushion to protect the vulnerable areas during Suga’s thrashing. Then he carefully scooted Suga’s body farther into the seat, so he wouldn’t fall off and hit something against the bus floor. With Suga in a secure position, there was nothing left to do now but time the seizure and wait for it to end. Daichi hated this part the most because he was powerless to help his best friend.

Their teammates slowly started to notice that something was wrong. Suga’s breathing was irregular and audible over the movie to the people sitting near Daichi and Suga. Ennoshita sent him a text a minute later to make sure everything was okay. Daich responded with a cryptic text that told Ennoshita something was wrong but didn’t specify what. Naturally, Ennoshita sent more texts, each becoming more and more worried, though he thankfully had the sense to keep his inquiries in texts instead of voicing them aloud.

Suga’s trembles finally slowed, and Daichi checked the clock on his phone. The seizure had lasted for just over two minutes. While not ideal, the seizure was still under five minutes. Seizures lasting longer than five minutes tended to be the most dangerous ones, so at least Suga avoided that.

Now that the seizure was over, Daichi needed to get Suga help. So Daichi got to his feet and walked down the bus aisle. Most of his teammates grumbled in annoyance, but Daichi caught the worried gazes of Ennoshita and his seatmate Kinoshita. He gave them a small smile, hoping to convey that things were getting better, but the duo still looked worried. Daichi continued on his trek and finally reached the front of the bus. Thankfully, Coach Ukai was driving while Mr. Takeda was helping Coach Ukai navigate from the front bus seat.

“Mr. Takeda?” Daichi leaned towards the club advisor, keeping his voice low.

“Daichi?!” Mr. Takeda yelped in surprise, but he quickly fell silent once he saw Daichi’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Suga had an… episode,” Daichi whispered to the club advisor.

“An episode?” Mr. Takeda blinked in confusion. “What kind of episo- Oh!” Mr. Takeda lowered his voice out of courtesy to Suga and his privacy. “Suga had an epileptic episode?”

“Yeah,” Daichi sighed tiredly. “His seizure lasted for a little more than two minutes. He’s resting now, but we should take him to a hospital to get checked out.”

“Of course!” Mr. Takeda nearly shouted again. “I’ll let Coach know right away! Do you need any help with Suga?”

“I don’t think so,” Daichi shook his head. “I just might need help getting him off the bus when we get to the hospital.”

“Alright. I’ll find the nearest hospital and tell Coach to get us there as soon as possible. Can you keep Suga comfortable until we arrive?” Mr. Takeda asked.

“I’ll take good care of him,” Daichi replied firmly.

“I’m sure you will,” Mr. Takeda agreed before he moved to the driver’s seat to let Coach Ukai know about the change of plans.

Daichi returned to his seat swiftly, anxious from leaving Suga alone for so long. Suga was still lying across their seats, but he was conscious and relatively alert because he turned his head when Daichi got back to their seats. Daichi sat in the aisle to keep an eye on Suga, rubbing the setter’s ankle soothingly. Daichi and Suga stayed like that until the bus pulled into a hospital parking lot.

Cries of confusion and irritation broke out until Mr. Takeda silenced them with an uncharacteristically stern stare. “Move out of the aisles, everyone. The paramedics need to use them.”

Everyone obeyed immediately, but looks of confusion were etched on most of their teammates’ faces. Two paramedics boarded their bus, with Mr. Takeda directing them back to Suga and Daichi’s seats. Daichi moved out of their way, helping them pull Suga into the larger paramedic’s arms. Suga remained limp in the paramedic’s hold, though his eyes darted over to Daichi as the paramedics carried him away. Daichi waved reassuringly, and Suga flashed him a brief smile before his eyes fell shut. That caused the paramedics to panic and rush off the bus. Daichi watched them place Suga on a waiting stretcher from the bus window, and then his best friend disappears into the large white building with the paramedics.

X

They weren’t allowed to see Suga for the next few hours. Their teammates’ confusion had morphed into shock and despair once they realized that something was wrong with Suga. The first and second years badgered Daichi and Asahi relentlessly until they finally caved, informing the team of Suga’s epilepsy. Daichi also explained why Suga was currently in the hospital, and Tanaka looked guiltier by the second. Daichi reached out a hand and rubbed the spiker’s shoulder, explaining that it wasn’t Tanaka’s fault. He didn’t know about Suga’s epilepsy until a few minutes ago, so there was no way for him to know how dangerous the movie would be for his vice-captain to watch. Tanaka still moped in his hospital chair until they were finally allowed to see Suga.

It was very early morning when a nurse approached their group with information about Suga. She pulled Mr. Takeda and Coach Ukai away for a few minutes to inform them of Suga’s condition. With Suga’s parents out of the country for work, they were acting as Suga’s legal guardians while he was in the hospital. Daichi waited with the team until the two adults returned to their group.

“Suga will be fine, everyone,” Mr. Takeda smiled exhaustedly. The events of the night had taken a visible toll on him. “He was just dehydrated and exhausted. He’s on an IV right now to get some fluids and nutrients into his system, but he’ll be okay after getting some rest.”

“He’ll be released soon,” Coach Ukai continued gruffly. “They’re just waiting until his IV is done. We should be out of here in an hour or so.”

“Can we see him?!” Nishinoya and Hinata asked eagerly.

“Yes,” Mr. Takeda laughed at their antics, “but you have to be quiet, ok? Suga might be asleep, and we shouldn’t wake him if he is.”

“Yes sir!” The duo nodded before dashing down the hallway.

“Wait!” Mr. Takeda let out a panicked cry. “You don’t even know Suga’s room number!”

Mr. Takeda chased after the two, and soon the entire team was running down the hospital hallway to Suga’s room. Mr. Takeda directed them to take two flights of stairs and a long corridor to reach Suga’s room. Unsurprisingly, Hinata and Nishinoya were the first to the door, with Kageyama and Tanaka not far behind. Mr. Takeda caught up with them, forcing them to wait until everyone had gathered to open the door. Daichi pushed his way to the front of the group, citing his captain status. Suga was his best friend, and he was going invoke his captain rights if it let him see Suga faster.

Mr. Takeda opened the door, and the Karasuno VBC filed into the room silently. Daichi stared at Suga as he entered. Suga was awake and sitting up in his bed. He looked exhausted, but his face had color, and he looked much better than he had hours ago. Suga watched them all carefully, offering them a wave. The IV in his elbow bounced in time with Suga’s wave. Once everyone was settled into the room, Suga gave them a warm Suga-Smile™.

“Hey, guys,” Suga said with exhausted but genuine enthusiasm. “What’s up?”

“SUGA!!!!” Hinata, Nishinoya, and Tanaka yelled, launching themselves at Suga.

They piled themselves on top of a shocked Suga, but he was quick to pull the trio into a warm hug.

“You scared us, Suga,” Daichi said quietly as he sat on the side of Suga’s bed.

“Sorry. I should have told someone earlier,” Suga sighed, snuggling into the cuddlepile on his lap.

“It’s not your fault, Suga,” Asahi hummed from the other side of Suga’s bed. “You can’t control your epilepsy.”

“I guess so… But I still feel bad for scaring you guys like that,” Suga confessed, eyes full of guilt.

“It’s okay, Suga,” Hinata chirped from the cuddle pile. “We’re just glad that you’re okay!”

“Thanks, Hinata,” Suga laughed into the blocker’s red hair.

“Hinata’s right,” Ennoshita chimed in. “I just wished you’d told us about your epilepsy earlier.”

“I know I should have, and I’m really sorry.” Suga bowed his head in apology. “I just hate talking about it. Daichi and Asahi basically had to kidnap me to get me to tell them about it.”

“Is that true, Daichi?” Nishinoya asked excitedly.

“I guess so…” Daichi laughed awkwardly. “In our defense, Suga was very stubborn. That was the only way we got Suga to talk to us instead of changing the topic.”

“Was I really that bad?” Suga cocked his head to the side.

“You were,” Asahi nodded solemnly. “I didn’t think we’d ever get you to tell us anything.”

“You’re always so negative, Asahi.” Suga poked the ace’s arm lightly. “It’s that negativity goatee, I swear.”

“My goatee has nothing to do with it!” Asahi whined sadly.

Suga giggled lightly at his friends, and Suga’s laugh was always infectious. The cuddle pile trio was giggling too, and then Daichi and Asahi joined in as well. Soon, the entire team was laughing, even Mr. Takeda and Coach Ukai. The previous events were long and stressful, so now everyone was finally relaxing a little.

The team chatted amongst themselves quietly until a nurse entered the room to check Suga’s IV. She declared that it was done and swiftly removed the needle from Suga’s elbow before the setter could even process what was happening. The nurse left the room for a moment and returned with a wheelchair for Suga to sit in. Hinata, Nishinoya, and Tanaka clambered off Suga’s lap, so Daichi and Asahi could help Suga into the wheelchair. They wheeled Suga out to the bus and got him situated on a bus seat near the front, so the adults could keep an eye on him. Daichi also sat beside Suga to help him if need be.

Everyone boarded the bus, and they were on their way back to Miyagi. Suga leaned his head on Daichi’s shoulder, eyes heavy with sleep.

“Daichi,” he yawned heavily. “Thanks for everything today.”

Daichi smiled tiredly at his best friend. “Sure. I’m always here for you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” Suga hummed happily. “I’m glad you’re such a good friend.”

“Thanks, Suga.” Daichi yawned as well. “You’re a pretty good friend too.”

“You’re still better,” Suga teased lightly before a big yawn escaped his mouth.

“And you’re still exhausted. Get some rest. I’ll wake you up when we get back,” Daichi said softly.

“Thanks, Daichi,” Suga murmured as his eyes slipped shut.

“Any time, Suga,” Daichi whispered as he felt his eyes grow heavier by the second. He leaned his head on top of Suga’s. The adults would wake them when they got to the school, Daichi reasoned before his eyes shut completely. Karasuno’s captain was asleep in a matter of seconds, taking a well-deserved nap after the chaos of the past few hours. The bus wouldn’t arrive for a few hours, and Daichi was content to nap with his best friend as the bus rolled on through the night.